Volume 112 Issue 9
News
IO Classroom and PupilPath Gone and Back
By Rebecca Bao
The system unavailability of IO Classroom and PupilPath during the week of January 10 has required alternatives to attendance and grading, affecting both teachers and students as the end of the fall semester draws near.
News
Mental Health: One Semester Down, One to Go
By Mary Lee, Karen Zhang, Ian Kim, Sarah Diaz, Craig Chen, Sarah Huynh
Students and staff reflect on the state of mental health at Stuyvesant after nearly a full semester back in school.
Features
Table Tennis and a Road to the Olympics
By Lauren Lee
The newest addition to the girls’ table tennis team, freshman Alyssa Kang, is reaching for the Olympics.
Features
The Omicron Predicament in The School That Never Sleeps
By Theo Sassano
A look into the dilemma between education and health that the Omicron variant has placed upon Stuyvesant students.
Features
Cracking the Surface of the Private Bus Service
Stuyvesant students share their thoughts on the private bus service S&J Tour & Bus Inc.
Features
Jumping Into the New Year
Though New Year’s might have looked a little different this year, students share how they made the best of it.
Opinions
The Flaws of High School Debate
By Lauren Chin
Modern debate has its fair share of issues, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying.
Science
Where is Our Department of Science and Technology?
By Gerard Lin
Our country’s scientific advancement has been largely successful using this dispersed approach, but pressing modern issues from antibiotic resistance and the COVID-19 pandemic to climate change can only be effectively addressed by creating a centralized department of science and technology.
Science
Cypherpunks and the Battle For Privacy
A brief history of the cypherpunks and the key role cryptography plays in maintaining our privacy.
Science
Is Nanotechnology the Answer?
By Andy Chen
The coronavirus pandemic generates interest in using nanotechnology as a potential antiviral treatment.
Opinions
Letter to the Editor from the College Office
By
In response to “Mother Knows Best: Parents’ Takes on the College Process” in Volume 112 Issue 8
Science
2021 Science Wrapped
By Karina Gupta
From discoveries to debates, 2021 has been an eventful year in the scientific community; here’s a look into some of the most significant topics.
Science
A New Way to Treat COVID: Pills
By Alex Zheng
Created by Pfizer, Paxlovid is a combination drug that prevents patients with mild-moderate symptoms from developing more serious symptoms that require hospitalization.
Science
A Guide to Keeping Your Resolutions
By Subaah Syed
As we enter 2022, Stuyvesant students would have New Year’s resolutions in mind, and to fulfill these resolutions rather than leave them short, it is important to maintain the motivation and continue the efforts throughout the year, as difficult as it may seem.
Opinions
College and Money: Where does it end?
Colleges should be free to end the continual circle of money that society has created.
Opinions
The Order of Books: The Intentions of Melvil Dewey
By Savidya (Minadee) Kulawansa
Instead of erasing controversial figures from history, we should recognize their accomplishments and build off of their work to fix the problems they created.
Opinions
Beauty Under the Name of Hygiene
By Suyeon Ryu
Women’s hygiene needs aren’t always oriented toward practical cleanliness, but toward following society’s standards of a feminine woman.
Arts and Entertainment
In Remembrance of The Boy Who Lived
Aside from the more controversial notes that this special touches upon, the content is a clever mix of behind-the-scenes highlights, anecdotal interviews, and a general camaraderie between the actors.
Humor
Touching Obituary Mourns the Imminent Death of Ghislaine Maxwell
By Ethan Lam
This tragedy will have been preventable.
News
Stuyvesant Students Organize Citywide Walkout
By Isabella Jia, Momoca Mairaj
Stuyvesant students collaborated to organize a citywide school walkout advocating for the temporary closure of school.

News
Omicron Variant Causes New Schoolwide Policies and Updates
By Lauren Chin, Fiona Shi, Madison Kim, Jina Koh, Olivia Haven
A rise in Omicron cases has led to the implementation of new administrative protocols to ensure the safety of Stuyvesant teachers and students.

Features
Is Stuyvesant’s Cheating Culture Untreatable?
Stuyvesant students share varying opinions on academic dishonesty and whether it is necessary, harmless, or compromising to academic integrity.

Opinions
Betty White Sets a Standard
The late actress Betty White’s combined old age and progressive views show that bigoted old people are not “the product of their time,” but rather the product of their chosen biases.

Opinions
Why Parallel Universes Exist
The idea of parallel universes is genuinely possible and can be explained with three theories, each approaching the subject in its own distinct way.

Science
The MooLoo: How Potty Trained Cows Save Our Planet
By Jovanna Wu
The MooLoo, a makeshift latrine, is designed to potty train the cows and reduce the greenhouse gas emissions/toxins that pollute our globe.

Science
The Science Behind Procrastination
By Elma Khan
All students are familiar with procrastination, but the hows and whys behind it are the key to defeating this instinct.

Opinions
Old Plays, Modern Ideas
By Ivy Huang
My gender identity story is not so dissimilar to Shakespeare’s gender-bending plays.

Arts and Entertainment
The Emergence of Abstract Art
The history, creation, and evolution of abstract art.

Humor
Key to Finals Success: Work Hard, Pray Harder
By Raymond Chen, Christian Kim
The best ways to rack up as many blessings and miracles as possible before you walk in to take your finals.

Humor
Five Ways to Destroy Your PE Uniform
By Sara Heller
A list describing five very creative methods you could use to get rid of your old, sweaty gym clothes.

Humor
2022: Year of the Finals
Principal Yu drunkenly schedules finals for all of 2022 and pays the price for it the next morning.

Sports
The Greyducks Just Won’t Slow Down
By Romain Tarayre, Vernon Hughes
The Greyducks are going the distance as they battle through a historically difficult season.
Sports
The Fading Line between Politics and Sports
By Krish Gupta
Sports have become increasingly politicized, leading to ramifications on and off the field.
Arts and Entertainment
Meet the 2022 SING! Coordinators
By Madeline Goodwin, Sakura Yamanaka, Maggie Sansone, Emma Chio
Hear from this year’s SING! coordinators to learn more about themselves and their goals and expectations for what’s to come for the highly anticipated annual schoolwide musical production.
Humor
Senior Writes a Totally Not Recycled, Unique “Why College” Essay
By Karen Chen
A senior writes a draft of a “Why College” essay, except it’s not so great.
Humor
MTA Cuts Subway Service as Revenge Against Annoying Stuyvesant Students
By Muhib Muhib
Acting MTA Chairman Janno Lieber received backlash when he announced service cuts due to financial losses, annoying Stuyvesant students, and his lack of a six-figure salary.
Sports
College Football Playoffs Recap
Here’s a recap of what went down in the 2021-2022 College Football Playoffs, from Cincinnati vs. Alabama and Michigan vs. Georgia to a rematch of the SEC Championship game.
Arts and Entertainment
The Meme Song Showdown
Four of the most notorious meme songs compete for artistic supremacy.
Sports
Everything You Need to Know About the 2022 MLB Lockout
The MLB went into its ninth work stoppage on December 2—the first since 1994.
Arts and Entertainment
Is the Future of Music in the Hands of Robots?
AI is shaping the future of the music industry, from innovating how music is produced to introducing the public to new genres.
Arts and Entertainment
A Year in Review: 2022’s Best Albums
By Levi Simon
The parts of 2022 that sucked the least.
Arts and Entertainment
“Matrix: Resurrections” Leaves a Stain on a Revolutionary Film Franchise
“Matrix: Resurrections” pales in comparison to its prequels in almost all aspects. Lana Wachowski’s outstanding direction and fascinating exploration of binary choices is all that keeps the film from fully falling flat.
Features
Saving Christmas With Diwali Lights, Jewelry, and Fake Gifts
My first time celebrating Christmas started with a dumpyard.
Sports
Junior Varsity Having a Major Season
Despite impediments off the court, the junior varsity Rebels continue to triumph.
Arts and Entertainment
“Matrix: Resurrections” Leaves a Stain on a Revolutionary Film Franchise
“Matrix: Resurrections” pales in comparison to its prequels in almost all aspects. Lana Wachowski’s outstanding direction and fascinating exploration of binary choices is all that keeps the film from fully falling flat.
Arts and Entertainment
Mahershala Ali Excels as Both Leads in “Swan Song.”
Mahershali Ali shines in an outstanding portrayal of Cameron in Benjamin Cleary’s superbly directed recent film “Swan Song,” which tells the story of a man with a terminal illness faced with an almost impossible decision.
Sports
The Goats Primed for Playoffs
By William Tse
After losing in a heartbreaking fashion in 2019 to Brooklyn Technical High School at the city championship and losing the 2020 season due to COVID-19, the Goats, Stuyvesant’s boys’ varsity table tennis team, are seeking revenge.
Sports
The Late John Madden’s Legacy
By Yoonah Chang
Remembering John Madden: football coach, broadcaster, teacher, and fan.
Arts and Entertainment
Cheap *ss Lunch #10: Halal, in a Burger. Why Not?
Placing the full contents of a Gyro on a Burger bun with a side of fries is perhaps a stroke of genius.

News
How are NYC High Schools Faring With the Omicron Variant?
By Isabella Jia, Rebecca Bao, Momoca Mairaj, Ashley Lin
Students outside of Stuyvesant weigh in on how Omicron is being handled in their schools.
News
Stuyvesant Students Organize Citywide Walkout
By Isabella Jia, Momoca Mairaj
Stuyvesant students collaborated to organize a citywide school walkout advocating for the temporary closure of school.
News
IO Classroom and PupilPath Gone and Back
By Rebecca Bao
The system unavailability of IO Classroom and PupilPath during the week of January 10 has required alternatives to attendance and grading, affecting both teachers and students as the end of the fall semester draws near.
News
Mental Health: One Semester Down, One to Go
By Mary Lee, Karen Zhang, Ian Kim, Sarah Diaz, Craig Chen, Sarah Huynh
Students and staff reflect on the state of mental health at Stuyvesant after nearly a full semester back in school.

News
Omicron Variant Causes New Schoolwide Policies and Updates
By Lauren Chin, Fiona Shi, Madison Kim, Jina Koh, Olivia Haven
A rise in Omicron cases has led to the implementation of new administrative protocols to ensure the safety of Stuyvesant teachers and students.
Features
Table Tennis and a Road to the Olympics
By Lauren Lee
The newest addition to the girls’ table tennis team, freshman Alyssa Kang, is reaching for the Olympics.
Features
The Omicron Predicament in The School That Never Sleeps
By Theo Sassano
A look into the dilemma between education and health that the Omicron variant has placed upon Stuyvesant students.

Features
Is Stuyvesant’s Cheating Culture Untreatable?
Stuyvesant students share varying opinions on academic dishonesty and whether it is necessary, harmless, or compromising to academic integrity.
Features
Cracking the Surface of the Private Bus Service
Stuyvesant students share their thoughts on the private bus service S&J Tour & Bus Inc.
Features
Jumping Into the New Year
Though New Year’s might have looked a little different this year, students share how they made the best of it.

Opinions
Betty White Sets a Standard
The late actress Betty White’s combined old age and progressive views show that bigoted old people are not “the product of their time,” but rather the product of their chosen biases.
Opinions
The Flaws of High School Debate
By Lauren Chin
Modern debate has its fair share of issues, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying.
Science
Where is Our Department of Science and Technology?
By Gerard Lin
Our country’s scientific advancement has been largely successful using this dispersed approach, but pressing modern issues from antibiotic resistance and the COVID-19 pandemic to climate change can only be effectively addressed by creating a centralized department of science and technology.
Science
Cypherpunks and the Battle For Privacy
A brief history of the cypherpunks and the key role cryptography plays in maintaining our privacy.

Opinions
Why Parallel Universes Exist
The idea of parallel universes is genuinely possible and can be explained with three theories, each approaching the subject in its own distinct way.

Science
The MooLoo: How Potty Trained Cows Save Our Planet
By Jovanna Wu
The MooLoo, a makeshift latrine, is designed to potty train the cows and reduce the greenhouse gas emissions/toxins that pollute our globe.
Science
Is Nanotechnology the Answer?
By Andy Chen
The coronavirus pandemic generates interest in using nanotechnology as a potential antiviral treatment.
Opinions
Letter to the Editor from the College Office
By
In response to “Mother Knows Best: Parents’ Takes on the College Process” in Volume 112 Issue 8
Science
2021 Science Wrapped
By Karina Gupta
From discoveries to debates, 2021 has been an eventful year in the scientific community; here’s a look into some of the most significant topics.
Science
A New Way to Treat COVID: Pills
By Alex Zheng
Created by Pfizer, Paxlovid is a combination drug that prevents patients with mild-moderate symptoms from developing more serious symptoms that require hospitalization.

Science
The Science Behind Procrastination
By Elma Khan
All students are familiar with procrastination, but the hows and whys behind it are the key to defeating this instinct.
Science
A Guide to Keeping Your Resolutions
By Subaah Syed
As we enter 2022, Stuyvesant students would have New Year’s resolutions in mind, and to fulfill these resolutions rather than leave them short, it is important to maintain the motivation and continue the efforts throughout the year, as difficult as it may seem.

Opinions
Old Plays, Modern Ideas
By Ivy Huang
My gender identity story is not so dissimilar to Shakespeare’s gender-bending plays.
Opinions
College and Money: Where does it end?
Colleges should be free to end the continual circle of money that society has created.
Opinions
The Order of Books: The Intentions of Melvil Dewey
By Savidya (Minadee) Kulawansa
Instead of erasing controversial figures from history, we should recognize their accomplishments and build off of their work to fix the problems they created.
Opinions
Beauty Under the Name of Hygiene
By Suyeon Ryu
Women’s hygiene needs aren’t always oriented toward practical cleanliness, but toward following society’s standards of a feminine woman.
Arts and Entertainment
In Remembrance of The Boy Who Lived
Aside from the more controversial notes that this special touches upon, the content is a clever mix of behind-the-scenes highlights, anecdotal interviews, and a general camaraderie between the actors.

Arts and Entertainment
The Emergence of Abstract Art
The history, creation, and evolution of abstract art.
Humor
Touching Obituary Mourns the Imminent Death of Ghislaine Maxwell
By Ethan Lam
This tragedy will have been preventable.
Humor
Yu Are the Impostor
Mysterious man outside the school premises claims he is the REAL Principal Seung Yu, leading to worries there may be an impostor among us.
Humor
Principal Yu: The Man Who Broke My Heart
By Alexander Chu, Erica Chen, Aniket Roy
Principal Yu bans all public displays of affection in Stuyvesant, but what’s the real reason behind this decision?

Humor
Key to Finals Success: Work Hard, Pray Harder
By Raymond Chen, Christian Kim
The best ways to rack up as many blessings and miracles as possible before you walk in to take your finals.
Humor
Senior Writes a Totally Not Recycled, Unique “Why College” Essay
By Karen Chen
A senior writes a draft of a “Why College” essay, except it’s not so great.

Humor
Five Ways to Destroy Your PE Uniform
By Sara Heller
A list describing five very creative methods you could use to get rid of your old, sweaty gym clothes.
Humor
MTA Cuts Subway Service as Revenge Against Annoying Stuyvesant Students
By Muhib Muhib
Acting MTA Chairman Janno Lieber received backlash when he announced service cuts due to financial losses, annoying Stuyvesant students, and his lack of a six-figure salary.

Humor
2022: Year of the Finals
Principal Yu drunkenly schedules finals for all of 2022 and pays the price for it the next morning.
Sports
College Football Playoffs Recap
Here’s a recap of what went down in the 2021-2022 College Football Playoffs, from Cincinnati vs. Alabama and Michigan vs. Georgia to a rematch of the SEC Championship game.
Arts and Entertainment
The Meme Song Showdown
Four of the most notorious meme songs compete for artistic supremacy.
Sports
Everything You Need to Know About the 2022 MLB Lockout
The MLB went into its ninth work stoppage on December 2—the first since 1994.
Arts and Entertainment
Is the Future of Music in the Hands of Robots?
AI is shaping the future of the music industry, from innovating how music is produced to introducing the public to new genres.
Arts and Entertainment
A Year in Review: 2022’s Best Albums
By Levi Simon
The parts of 2022 that sucked the least.
Arts and Entertainment
“Matrix: Resurrections” Leaves a Stain on a Revolutionary Film Franchise
“Matrix: Resurrections” pales in comparison to its prequels in almost all aspects. Lana Wachowski’s outstanding direction and fascinating exploration of binary choices is all that keeps the film from fully falling flat.
Features
Saving Christmas With Diwali Lights, Jewelry, and Fake Gifts
My first time celebrating Christmas started with a dumpyard.
Sports
Junior Varsity Having a Major Season
Despite impediments off the court, the junior varsity Rebels continue to triumph.
Arts and Entertainment
“Matrix: Resurrections” Leaves a Stain on a Revolutionary Film Franchise
“Matrix: Resurrections” pales in comparison to its prequels in almost all aspects. Lana Wachowski’s outstanding direction and fascinating exploration of binary choices is all that keeps the film from fully falling flat.

Sports
The Greyducks Just Won’t Slow Down
By Romain Tarayre, Vernon Hughes
The Greyducks are going the distance as they battle through a historically difficult season.
Arts and Entertainment
Mahershala Ali Excels as Both Leads in “Swan Song.”
Mahershali Ali shines in an outstanding portrayal of Cameron in Benjamin Cleary’s superbly directed recent film “Swan Song,” which tells the story of a man with a terminal illness faced with an almost impossible decision.
Sports
The Fading Line between Politics and Sports
By Krish Gupta
Sports have become increasingly politicized, leading to ramifications on and off the field.
Arts and Entertainment
Meet the 2022 SING! Coordinators
By Madeline Goodwin, Sakura Yamanaka, Maggie Sansone, Emma Chio
Hear from this year’s SING! coordinators to learn more about themselves and their goals and expectations for what’s to come for the highly anticipated annual schoolwide musical production.

Sports
The Goats Primed for Playoffs
By William Tse
After losing in a heartbreaking fashion in 2019 to Brooklyn Technical High School at the city championship and losing the 2020 season due to COVID-19, the Goats, Stuyvesant’s boys’ varsity table tennis team, are seeking revenge.
Sports
The Late John Madden’s Legacy
By Yoonah Chang
Remembering John Madden: football coach, broadcaster, teacher, and fan.

Arts and Entertainment
Cheap *ss Lunch #10: Halal, in a Burger. Why Not?
Placing the full contents of a Gyro on a Burger bun with a side of fries is perhaps a stroke of genius.