Humor
How to Know if You’re Choosing the Right APs and Electives (for Freshmen, Sophomores, and Half of a Junior)
By Fiona Chen 2
A personality test to help choose your APs/Electives, based on unrealistic theoretical events/questions.
The Dark Truth about Harvard University
By Kevin Weng
Harvard University is a dream school for many, but its actual purpose is more alien than anybody could ever imagine.
The (Near) Destruction of Mercury
By John Zeng
A United Planets emergency meeting has been called to discuss the impending doom of Mercury
Mayor Mamdani Releases New Revolutionary Safety Plan
By Daniel Skarin, Timothy Leung
New York City’s new, cartoonish safety plan to lower crime rates.
Why is the 7-9 Escalator Always Broken?!
A question that’s been asked since the dawn of time (start of the school year).
Escalator Breakdowns: Let’s Break it Down
By Nathan Lee
The escalators are frequently found to be broken, but recent events point to internal sabotage.
Asking AI 10 Life-Changing Questions
By Justin Chen
Humor writer asks AI 10 questions, what happens next is SHOCKING
My Stuyvesant Love Life (Gender Neutral Reader)
By Deon Woon
Y/N, who is hoping to focus on their studies at school, suddenly meets some guys that might change everything!
Fact or Fiction: 20-Minute Homework
By Diya Mallu
We expose the very real battles students face every day trying to complete “20-minute homework.”
Plastic Free Day Revolutionizes the World
By Alexis Qian
Plastic Free Day makes students feel not so free.
The Truth Behind Phone Confiscation
By Victor Ma
A totally fake story about a totally real scandal that leaves the Dean’s Office scathed with controversy.
Pardon Our French Senior SING!
By Evelyn Lifton, Matthew Chen
Senior SING! tackled some of the scariest things known to man: the French.
Robots In War? The Empirics.
By Kevin Weng
There’s been a lot of hype about AI, but can it really stand up to the pressures of war?
When Life Gives You Spring Breaks
By Fiona Chen 2
Giving highly unrealistic advice to students on what to do over spring break to show that maybe high school isn’t that serious!
Hear Me Out… Some Crumbs of Potential SING! Ideas
From a list of dozens of theme ideas generated under the influence of distilled powdered Celsius, we narrowed down the top two.
Pregaming Stuyvesant
By Florence Wu, Isha Rashid, Nicole Lui
A prefreshie visits Stuyvesant for the first time during the Spring Open House—only to find himself amidst a bewildering mix of confusing tests, bizarre assignments, and extraordinary upperclassmen pranks that leaves him questioning reality.
Planet Stuy: The Admissions Officer
Join us as we discover the secret lives of the masters of the education system—the admissions officers.
How to Get Rich Off Leprechauns in 2026
By Kevin Weng
An in-depth guide on capturing leprechauns and using them to fulfill your financial goals.
Top Eight Niche Social Platforms You Should Switch to in 2026
By Lukas Yao
If you’re tired of the mainstream social media, here are eight niche alternatives to make you stand out from the crowd!
Russia-Germany Scandal Shakes Europe
By Kevin Weng
Despite multiple breakups and states between them, Russia and Germany have gotten back together.
Junior SING!: Beignet Style
All that money spent on Mardi Gras tickets just to become unpaid investigative interns…
SophFrosh SING!: Bethany and Ad Astra Split into Two Directions
Spec Humor’s real SophFrosh SING! review.
Programming Office Accidentally Issues Tolerable Schedule
By Matthew Chen
Junior Avery Jones receives a slightly better schedule than usual. An exclusive look into the programming office explains the consequences.
Stuyvesant Politics: Pen or Pencil
Stuyvesant experiences a turbulent political climate as a conflict arises over pen vs. pencil.
The Cave Journey to Freedom and Glory
By Chloe Zheng
An escape journey through the loose tile on the ceiling of the third-floor gym.
In Memory of Cherished Snow Days
By Victor Ma
This is an eulogy to snow days, highlighting everything good (and bad) about them until their recent termination after COVID.
The Top Five Places to Use Your Phone in School
By Diya Mallu
A guide for desperate students experiencing doomscrolling withdrawal.
How to Get StuyFit on Zero Workout Time
This satirical guide explains how minimal effort during the school day can keep you fit at Stuy—no extra time required.
The Alpha-Ntastical Effects of Being a Huzz Magnet
By Chloe Zheng
A friend’s perspective of Y/N’s problem-filled life as a huzz magnet.
How to Know That You’re in a Toxic Relationship… With J
This guide helps you identify the warning signs of a toxic relationship in an unexpected place.
How to Know if You’re Choosing the Right APs and Electives (for Freshmen, Sophomores, and Half of a Junior)
By Fiona Chen 2
A personality test to help choose your APs/Electives, based on unrealistic theoretical events/questions.
Robots In War? The Empirics.
By Kevin Weng
There’s been a lot of hype about AI, but can it really stand up to the pressures of war?
The Dark Truth about Harvard University
By Kevin Weng
Harvard University is a dream school for many, but its actual purpose is more alien than anybody could ever imagine.
The (Near) Destruction of Mercury
By John Zeng
A United Planets emergency meeting has been called to discuss the impending doom of Mercury
Mayor Mamdani Releases New Revolutionary Safety Plan
By Daniel Skarin, Timothy Leung
New York City’s new, cartoonish safety plan to lower crime rates.
When Life Gives You Spring Breaks
By Fiona Chen 2
Giving highly unrealistic advice to students on what to do over spring break to show that maybe high school isn’t that serious!
Why is the 7-9 Escalator Always Broken?!
A question that’s been asked since the dawn of time (start of the school year).
Hear Me Out… Some Crumbs of Potential SING! Ideas
From a list of dozens of theme ideas generated under the influence of distilled powdered Celsius, we narrowed down the top two.
Escalator Breakdowns: Let’s Break it Down
By Nathan Lee
The escalators are frequently found to be broken, but recent events point to internal sabotage.
Asking AI 10 Life-Changing Questions
By Justin Chen
Humor writer asks AI 10 questions, what happens next is SHOCKING
My Stuyvesant Love Life (Gender Neutral Reader)
By Deon Woon
Y/N, who is hoping to focus on their studies at school, suddenly meets some guys that might change everything!
Pregaming Stuyvesant
By Florence Wu, Isha Rashid, Nicole Lui
A prefreshie visits Stuyvesant for the first time during the Spring Open House—only to find himself amidst a bewildering mix of confusing tests, bizarre assignments, and extraordinary upperclassmen pranks that leaves him questioning reality.
Fact or Fiction: 20-Minute Homework
By Diya Mallu
We expose the very real battles students face every day trying to complete “20-minute homework.”
Plastic Free Day Revolutionizes the World
By Alexis Qian
Plastic Free Day makes students feel not so free.
The Truth Behind Phone Confiscation
By Victor Ma
A totally fake story about a totally real scandal that leaves the Dean’s Office scathed with controversy.
Planet Stuy: The Admissions Officer
Join us as we discover the secret lives of the masters of the education system—the admissions officers.
Pardon Our French Senior SING!
By Evelyn Lifton, Matthew Chen
Senior SING! tackled some of the scariest things known to man: the French.
How to Get Rich Off Leprechauns in 2026
By Kevin Weng
An in-depth guide on capturing leprechauns and using them to fulfill your financial goals.
Top Eight Niche Social Platforms You Should Switch to in 2026
By Lukas Yao
If you’re tired of the mainstream social media, here are eight niche alternatives to make you stand out from the crowd!
Russia-Germany Scandal Shakes Europe
By Kevin Weng
Despite multiple breakups and states between them, Russia and Germany have gotten back together.
Junior SING!: Beignet Style
All that money spent on Mardi Gras tickets just to become unpaid investigative interns…
SophFrosh SING!: Bethany and Ad Astra Split into Two Directions
Spec Humor’s real SophFrosh SING! review.
Programming Office Accidentally Issues Tolerable Schedule
By Matthew Chen
Junior Avery Jones receives a slightly better schedule than usual. An exclusive look into the programming office explains the consequences.
Stuyvesant Politics: Pen or Pencil
Stuyvesant experiences a turbulent political climate as a conflict arises over pen vs. pencil.
The Cave Journey to Freedom and Glory
By Chloe Zheng
An escape journey through the loose tile on the ceiling of the third-floor gym.
In Memory of Cherished Snow Days
By Victor Ma
This is an eulogy to snow days, highlighting everything good (and bad) about them until their recent termination after COVID.
The Top Five Places to Use Your Phone in School
By Diya Mallu
A guide for desperate students experiencing doomscrolling withdrawal.
New Year’s Resolutions for You, Your Friends, and Everyone Else
By Jake Chan
A selection of New Year’s resolutions based on traditional Stuy stereotypes
The Holy Grail to a Sane 2026
By Manya Gautam
Tired of unattainable resolutions as a stress-loaded student? We got you!
How to Get StuyFit on Zero Workout Time
This satirical guide explains how minimal effort during the school day can keep you fit at Stuy—no extra time required.
The Alpha-Ntastical Effects of Being a Huzz Magnet
By Chloe Zheng
A friend’s perspective of Y/N’s problem-filled life as a huzz magnet.