Humor
We the People of the Games Department
Games has just declared independence from Humor. Here’s how it went down.
How Does The Spectator Humor Department Write Its Articles?
By Kevin Weng
Come find out how Spectator Humor writes their amazing articles.
The First Playtest of Chess 2 Just Took Place, and the Results are in
By Miro Lerner
Feedback from a playtest of Chess 2
Junioritis Outbreak Devastates High Schools; CDC Alarmed
By Diya Mallu
CDC researchers are investigating a rapidly spreading outbreak of “Junioritis,” a condition causing severe burnout and apathy among high school juniors.
How to Relax All Summer and Still Sound Impressive on Paper
This satirical piece offers creative ways to enjoy a real summer break without sacrificing their resumes.
Dear Future Self…
By Fiona Chen 2
An apology letter to my future self, listing experiencing minor inconveniences as a result of past actions.
New AP Classes Officially Unveiled
By Faiza Rumman, Justin Chen, Sara Bhuiyan
New AP courses have arrived at Stuy, but are they any good?
How to Know if You’re Choosing the Right APs and Electives (for Freshmen, Sophomores, and Half of a Junior)
By Fiona Chen 2
A personality test to help choose your APs/Electives, based on unrealistic theoretical events/questions.
The (Near) Destruction of Mercury
By John Zeng
A United Planets emergency meeting has been called to discuss the impending doom of Mercury
Mayor Mamdani Releases New Revolutionary Safety Plan
By Daniel Skarin, Timothy Leung
New York City’s new, cartoonish safety plan to lower crime rates.
The Dark Truth about Harvard University
By Kevin Weng
Harvard University is a dream school for many, but its actual purpose is more alien than anybody could ever imagine.
Why is the 7-9 Escalator Always Broken?!
By Sara Bhuiyan
A question that’s been asked since the dawn of time (start of the school year).
Dear Incoming Class of 2030... We Have Advice!
By Dylan Galati, Kangsan Dickerson
You made it to Stuyvesant…for better or for worse! Here are a few tips from Stuyvesant-certified students so that you can survive your first year at this exceptionally school-based school.
Stuyvesant Class of 2030 Acceptance Letter
By Viv Carlow
Dear student, welcome to Stuyvesant. I’m sorry.
Five Magnificent Things to Do When You’re at Summer Camp
Are you about to spend a majority of your time at summer camp somewhere upstate, in North Dakota, or literally anywhere in the world? Fear not, because this article provides five extremely fun activities to do in the wild, wild outdoors!
Tesla Cybertruck Officially Announces Bid for 2028 Presidential Election
The Tesla Cybertruck has announced its campaign for the 2028 presidential election as the Whig candidate, nominating famous actor Ryan Gosling as VP.
BREAKING NEWS: Stuyvesant H.S. AP Bio Students Linked to Hantavirus Outbreak
AP Bio students catch the hantavirus.
What School Do Your Habits Say You Belong In?
By Eva Kastoun
Discover where your academic burnout would be most at home
My Fox Ate My AP Exam
By Manya Gautam
The College Board has decided to introduce a new section to the AP Zoology exam. What could go wrong?
How to Know That You’re in a Toxic Relationship… With J
This guide helps you identify the warning signs of a toxic relationship in an unexpected place.
Escalator Breakdowns: Let’s Break it Down
By Nathan Lee
The escalators are frequently found to be broken, but recent events point to internal sabotage.
My Stuyvesant Love Life (Gender Neutral Reader)
By Deon Woon
Y/N, who is hoping to focus on their studies at school, suddenly meets some guys that might change everything!
Fact or Fiction: 20-Minute Homework
By Diya Mallu
We expose the very real battles students face every day trying to complete “20-minute homework.”
Plastic Free Day Revolutionizes the World
By Alexis Qian
Plastic Free Day makes students feel not so free.
The Truth Behind Phone Confiscation
By Victor Ma
A totally fake story about a totally real scandal that leaves the Dean’s Office scathed with controversy.
Asking AI 10 Life-Changing Questions
By Justin Chen
Humor writer asks AI 10 questions, what happens next is SHOCKING
Pardon Our French Senior SING!
By Evelyn Lifton, Matthew Chen
Senior SING! tackled some of the scariest things known to man: the French.
When Life Gives You Spring Breaks
By Fiona Chen 2
Giving highly unrealistic advice to students on what to do over spring break to show that maybe high school isn’t that serious!
Hear Me Out… Some Crumbs of Potential SING! Ideas
From a list of dozens of theme ideas generated under the influence of distilled powdered Celsius, we narrowed down the top two.
Planet Stuy: The Admissions Officer
Join us as we discover the secret lives of the masters of the education system—the admissions officers.
Pregaming Stuyvesant
By Florence Wu, Isha Rashid, Nicole Lui
A prefreshie visits Stuyvesant for the first time during the Spring Open House—only to find himself amidst a bewildering mix of confusing tests, bizarre assignments, and extraordinary upperclassmen pranks that leaves him questioning reality.
NYC Parents Upset Because Their Mayor Speaks Better Chinese Than Their Kids
A series of interviews conducted after the release of Mayor Zohran Mamdani’s viral advertisement spoken in Mandarin Chinese reveals that the mayor mogs the younger generation when it comes to fluency in Mandarin.
Five Magnificent Things to Do When You’re at Summer Camp
Are you about to spend a majority of your time at summer camp somewhere upstate, in North Dakota, or literally anywhere in the world? Fear not, because this article provides five extremely fun activities to do in the wild, wild outdoors!
How Does The Spectator Humor Department Write Its Articles?
By Kevin Weng
Come find out how Spectator Humor writes their amazing articles.
The First Playtest of Chess 2 Just Took Place, and the Results are in
By Miro Lerner
Feedback from a playtest of Chess 2
Junioritis Outbreak Devastates High Schools; CDC Alarmed
By Diya Mallu
CDC researchers are investigating a rapidly spreading outbreak of “Junioritis,” a condition causing severe burnout and apathy among high school juniors.
How to Relax All Summer and Still Sound Impressive on Paper
This satirical piece offers creative ways to enjoy a real summer break without sacrificing their resumes.
Tesla Cybertruck Officially Announces Bid for 2028 Presidential Election
The Tesla Cybertruck has announced its campaign for the 2028 presidential election as the Whig candidate, nominating famous actor Ryan Gosling as VP.
BREAKING NEWS: Stuyvesant H.S. AP Bio Students Linked to Hantavirus Outbreak
AP Bio students catch the hantavirus.
What School Do Your Habits Say You Belong In?
By Eva Kastoun
Discover where your academic burnout would be most at home
Dear Future Self…
By Fiona Chen 2
An apology letter to my future self, listing experiencing minor inconveniences as a result of past actions.
My Fox Ate My AP Exam
By Manya Gautam
The College Board has decided to introduce a new section to the AP Zoology exam. What could go wrong?
New AP Classes Officially Unveiled
By Faiza Rumman, Justin Chen, Sara Bhuiyan
New AP courses have arrived at Stuy, but are they any good?
How to Know if You’re Choosing the Right APs and Electives (for Freshmen, Sophomores, and Half of a Junior)
By Fiona Chen 2
A personality test to help choose your APs/Electives, based on unrealistic theoretical events/questions.
How to Know That You’re in a Toxic Relationship… With J
This guide helps you identify the warning signs of a toxic relationship in an unexpected place.
Robots In War? The Empirics.
By Kevin Weng
There’s been a lot of hype about AI, but can it really stand up to the pressures of war?
The (Near) Destruction of Mercury
By John Zeng
A United Planets emergency meeting has been called to discuss the impending doom of Mercury
Mayor Mamdani Releases New Revolutionary Safety Plan
By Daniel Skarin, Timothy Leung
New York City’s new, cartoonish safety plan to lower crime rates.
The Dark Truth about Harvard University
By Kevin Weng
Harvard University is a dream school for many, but its actual purpose is more alien than anybody could ever imagine.
Why is the 7-9 Escalator Always Broken?!
By Sara Bhuiyan
A question that’s been asked since the dawn of time (start of the school year).
When Life Gives You Spring Breaks
By Fiona Chen 2
Giving highly unrealistic advice to students on what to do over spring break to show that maybe high school isn’t that serious!
Escalator Breakdowns: Let’s Break it Down
By Nathan Lee
The escalators are frequently found to be broken, but recent events point to internal sabotage.
Hear Me Out… Some Crumbs of Potential SING! Ideas
From a list of dozens of theme ideas generated under the influence of distilled powdered Celsius, we narrowed down the top two.
My Stuyvesant Love Life (Gender Neutral Reader)
By Deon Woon
Y/N, who is hoping to focus on their studies at school, suddenly meets some guys that might change everything!
Planet Stuy: The Admissions Officer
Join us as we discover the secret lives of the masters of the education system—the admissions officers.
Pregaming Stuyvesant
By Florence Wu, Isha Rashid, Nicole Lui
A prefreshie visits Stuyvesant for the first time during the Spring Open House—only to find himself amidst a bewildering mix of confusing tests, bizarre assignments, and extraordinary upperclassmen pranks that leaves him questioning reality.
Fact or Fiction: 20-Minute Homework
By Diya Mallu
We expose the very real battles students face every day trying to complete “20-minute homework.”
Plastic Free Day Revolutionizes the World
By Alexis Qian
Plastic Free Day makes students feel not so free.
The Truth Behind Phone Confiscation
By Victor Ma
A totally fake story about a totally real scandal that leaves the Dean’s Office scathed with controversy.
Asking AI 10 Life-Changing Questions
By Justin Chen
Humor writer asks AI 10 questions, what happens next is SHOCKING
Pardon Our French Senior SING!
By Evelyn Lifton, Matthew Chen
Senior SING! tackled some of the scariest things known to man: the French.
We the People of the Games Department
Games has just declared independence from Humor. Here’s how it went down.
Dear Incoming Class of 2030... We Have Advice!
By Dylan Galati, Kangsan Dickerson
You made it to Stuyvesant…for better or for worse! Here are a few tips from Stuyvesant-certified students so that you can survive your first year at this exceptionally school-based school.
Stuyvesant Class of 2030 Acceptance Letter
By Viv Carlow
Dear student, welcome to Stuyvesant. I’m sorry.