Reasons Why I Shouldn’t Be Reported to the New “End DEI” Web Portal

WASHINGTON – Today, the U.S. Department of Education launched EndDEI.Ed.Gov, a public portal for parents, students, teachers, and the broader community to submit reports of discrimination based on race or sex in publicly-funded K-12 schools.

The secure portal allows parents to provide an email address, the name of the student’s school or school district, and details of the concerning practices. The Department of Education will use submissions as a guide to identify potential areas for investigation. 

“For years, parents have been begging schools to focus on teaching their kids practical skills like reading, writing, and math, instead of pushing critical theory, rogue sex education and divisive ideologies—but their concerns have been brushed off, mocked, or shut down entirely,” said Tiffany Justice, Co-Founder of Moms for Liberty. “Parents, now is the time that you share the receipts of the betrayal that has happened in our public schools. This webpage demonstrates that President Trump’s Department of Education is putting power back in the hands of parents.”

I teach my students that Haitians eat pets. While there is no actual evidence of any Haitian immigrant, in Ohio or anywhere else, kidnapping, dressing, sauteeing, frying, or otherwise preparing little Fido or Spot for a noon-time snack or a four-course dinner, I teach my students that Haitians eat pets because the President said it, so it must be true. This is why I shouldn’t be reported to the new End DEI web portal.

I teach my students that Ukraine started the war with Russia. Those pesky Ukrainians, with their democratically elected Jewish president, inhabit a neo-Nazi nation, and directed the massive build-up of Russian troops at their border, then decided to invade their much bigger and more well-equipped neighbor, thereby provoking those Russian troops to storm their country and kill countless civilians, destroy vital infrastructure, and implode their undeservedly sovereign state. I teach it because the President and the Vice President said so, and this is why I shouldn’t be reported to the new End DEI web portal.

I teach my students that President Trump won the election of 2020. In spite of all the evidence to the contrary, including over 60 failed lawsuits by election deniers, and several Republican election officials in Republican states testifying to the election’s veracity, I teach my students that Trump won the election, “in a landslide, and everybody knows it.” Trump said it, I believe it, and I teach it, and this is why I shouldn’t be reported to the new End DEI web portal.

I teach my students to “Back the Blue,” except for the Capitol Police, because those guys deserve to get beat on. The January 6 rioters are heroes, they are “beautiful people,” and that day was a day of peace and love. The democratic process survived, the Biden Crime Family was unlawfully allowed to take office, so no harm no foul. The pardoned rioters will now be ready to “stand back and stand by,” until another such day. And this is why I shouldn’t be reported to the new End DEI web portal.

I teach my striving, high-achieving students to shun the Ivy League, because those schools are bastions of woke thinking and deserve to have their funding cut, especially in the areas of science, health, and medical research. These elite schools are guilty of not doing enough to protect their Jewish students, as opposed to the marchers in Charlottesville, VA, in 2017, who chanted, “Jews Will Not Replace Us,” but are still “very fine people,” as Trump said. And this is why I shouldn’t be reported to the new End DEI web portal.

I shouldn’t be reported to the End DEI web portal because I no longer teach LGBTQIA+ woke material. Walt Whitman, Oscar Wilde, James Baldwin, Patricia Highsmith, Lorraine Hansberry, Alison Bechdel, Carson McCullers, Edward Albee, and Dorothy Allison are all authors who have been on my reading lists, but no more. For obvious reasons.

And of course, I no longer teach George Orwell’s 1984. I do not believe the evidence of my own eyes and ears. I believe in the Supreme Leader. I love Donald Trump. And this is why I shouldn’t be reported to the new End DEI web portal.

One more thing: I do not work in a climate of fear and intimidation, so I have no problem attaching my byline to this article. The Stuyvesant Spectator is not an “enemy of the people,” as Donald Trump has described the free press, so I have absolutely no reason not to identify who I am. And this, finally, is why I should not be reported to the new End DEI web portal.