Best Ways to Prank Your Teacher (If You Wanna Get Expelled)

Have you ever wanted to crash out because of a teacher? Maybe they took off a single point on your math test because you forgot to show your work, turning your amazing 100 into an ugly 99? Or maybe they’re one of those English teachers who can never seem to give any perfect scores on essays because there’s always room for improvement? It can be tempting to use karma to your advantage in times like these, but it may seem impossible to use it on teachers. 

Never fear, for April Fools Day—the time for all pranks and mischief—is here! It’s the perfect opportunity to get some (friendly) payback on your teachers. The consequences can be extreme; if you’re a senior, you might get some college acceptances rescinded, and if you’re an underclassman, you might screw up the rest of your time here at Stuy, but who cares?! It’s all worth it for a teensy-tiny bit of revenge. Even Principal Yu insists that this is “a good way to keep teachers on their toes.” He also bribed me not to try these on him. I wonder why. But what if you aren’t ingenious enough to create a perfectly devised trick? Well, in that case, here at Spec Humor, we’ve compiled a list of the absolute BEST ways to prank your teachers. 

Dunk-A-Teacher.

So you know that one carnival game where you throw a bean bag at a contraption to sink a person in water? Well, this prank is the exact same! Except without the bean bag. And the contraption. And the signed waiver. Ehh, scratch that, this isn’t really that similar. It might give you an attempted homicide charge, actually. 

This prank is easy: you just push your teacher into the smelly Stuyvesant pool on the first floor! No materials are required, except maybe the wit needed to lure anyone into the horrid pool room. A bit of green in the water is optional but preferred. At least it’s better than that ice bucket challenge going around.

Junior Suf Fhering, whom I found angrily sulking in his assigned detention room, said, “I pushed my physics teacher into the pool ‘cause he said he’s a good swimmer. Well, what he didn’t tell me was that he’s a good runner, too, because he spent the whole period after that chasing after me. Think about it, I was only giving him a chance to shine! But ever since then he just hasn’t stopped targeting me… this is SO not fair.” I nodded in sympathy; this couldn’t be more true. What kind of insane being would spend so much time trying to catch an innocent person? What a buzzkill.

Pie Them.

This one is a bit more Looney Tunes-esque. It’s also a bit inconvenient to go out of your way to buy a pie because you’re definitely not the kind of person to steal a pie. Personally, attempted murder and public humiliation are one thing, but stealing?! I wouldn’t stoop that low. So not for me, dawg. But in any case, this prank is pretty easy when losing money isn’t taken into consideration. You can also just eat the pie off of your teacher’s face if you’re that concerned with losing money. Yum. 

For this prank, you simply have to walk up to your teacher and fling a pie onto their face. I tried this with my geometry teacher last year, only for her to sigh and say, “I don’t get paid enough for this.” She then went straight back to going over circle-related theorems, casually pulling the ruined pie off of her face and saying, “As you can see, if a diameter is perpendicular to a chord, then it bisects that chord and its major and minor arcs. Let’s draw a diameter on this pie for reference…” I was too stunned to speak or move, standing there awkwardly for a prolonged period of time until the end bell rang. I then quickly ran out of the room in embarrassment.

This prank works best if your teacher isn’t extremely unbothered like that. For instance, sophomore Dhro Pout, whom I found doing his 39 missing VHL assignments in the library, bragged, “Heh, I tried this on my French teacher and he called me ‘un connard stupide.’ He’s bold to think I even know what that means!” Pout conveniently forgot to mention that he got a one-week suspension for this, but he insisted, “You don’t know what you’re talking about! That was a vacation for all my hard work, you [REDACTED]!” Pout’s argument was passionate and emotionally driven, so I decided to just go along with it, nervously nodding along with his long rant about his vacation.

Call Them by Their First Name.

This one may be less physical than the previous ones, but the emotional damage is just as sweet! It’s also incredibly easy to do this: just find a teacher’s first name on their LinkedIn or Facebook accounts that you follow, and use that weapon to its full advantage! 

Though every student knows that no teacher likes to be called by their first name, many don’t really know why. That’s why, as a part of the scientific inquiry process and definitely not out of spite, I challenged (not forced, no) an anonymous sophomore to call one of their teachers by their full name. 

But I probably should have been more specific when making the suggestion. Even though I implied the comment to be made at one of our shared teachers (and one whom I most certainly adored for making sure we never ran out of assignments to complete), the anonymous sophomore… Well, let’s just say his assignments were probably getting to him. 

“MR. OLIVE HOYL!” he shouted in the cafeteria. “Or… Miss? Mrs.? Ugh. Doesn’t matter. OLIVE HOYL!” He looked around and saw faces, some twisted in disgust at the student’s antics and others pointing and laughing. Not wanting to get caught in the crossfire of humiliation, I ran out of the cafeteria, leaving the sophomore to fend for himself.

Ahem. IN CONCLUSION…

In conclusion, if you think all these other pranks are too complicated or have consequences that are too severe, you could always make your teachers cringe by reading your essays instead. Using the simple two-word phrase “In conclusion” always seems to send teachers into one of two states: either hysterical mental breakdowns or depressive episodes that can only be cured by chugging twice the daily recommended amount of caffeine for an adult. As Spec Humor’s last resort, we invite you all with this one last idea for an April Fool’s prank: EVERYONE needs to end their essays with “in conclusion,” regardless of what any teacher says. 

Dunking a teacher may seem like too much, pieing them a bit too expensive for all the broke homies out there, and calling them by their first name a bit too bold, but if there is anything Spec Humor believes everyone should be able to do, it’s to simply use “in conclusion” in every essay they write (your grade will be low no matter what you do). Happy April Fools, and here’s to pranking teachers for many years to come!