New Regents for Seniors: Modern American History

The New York State Board of Regents recently announced a new Regents Exam for the senior class of 2025. The new Regents will cover modern American history—specifically, current events. This idea has been tossed around since the beginning of Trump’s current administration. Though Trump’s first 100 days have only just ended, there is more than enough content to work with to make this exam a reality. The state is seemingly under the impression that high school seniors are up-to-date with current events, as they announced the exam just weeks before scheduled administration. According to Principal Seung Yu from Stuyvesant High School, “This should be one of the easiest Regents because of the large impact Trump has had on our lives.”

What will be on the exam? Our very own Spectator Humor Department has taken up the challenge of researching. After countless days and sleepless nights, we present: THE Modern American History Study Guide (condensed version). Attached below are the top three topics that are most likely to appear on the exam. It’s time for you to lock in!

THE Modern American History Study Guide (condensed version)

Topics most likely to appear on the exam and most important things to know:

• TikTok
• • This is one of the most popular apps of all time, currently used by almost all teenagers in America! The exam will specifically cover certain TikTok dances, including but not limited to: the Renegade, Barbara’s Rhubarb Bar, and the Maps dance.
  • It’s good to know some of TikTok’s modern history, starting with the recent ban and how people reacted to that. The main reactions were of devastation, and, throughout the period of the ban, many could be seen suffering from withdrawal symptoms. 
  • Popular slang on TikTok is a big topic—anything from Skibidi to the newest hype about Italian brainrot. The best way to go about studying this is to memorize all the words and their meanings, a list of which can easily be found online.

• Tariffs
• • Don’t let yourself be tricked! This may seem like a history exam, but it’s never that simple. There’s a little bit of math involved, but as long as you know Trump’s tariff equation, you’ll be all set! The equation is i(X)5(3.00108)4ZT , where X is percent tariffs, Z is the size of the country being tariffed, and T is time.
  • You must also know the countries and territories that have been taxed, as well as the reason why these places are being taxed. The easiest way to remember why is by memorizing this quote by Donald Trump: “Tariffs are about making America rich again and Making America Great again.” Some of the most important places to know include Heard Island and McDonald Island, which are off the coast of Australia. It’s also important to note that the populations of those islands consist solely of penguins.
• Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE)
• • Don’t let the name fool you; it may sound similar to the popular dog meme (RIP Kabosu) we all know and love, but it’s actually a new department created at the start of the current presidential administration.
  • It is important to know that Elon Musk is in charge of DOGE and that he is also the co-founder of Tesla, a serial adulterer, a pro gamer (just check his Path of Exile account!), and an excellent fraud detector. It is very likely that the exam will require extensive knowledge about Elon Musk and the Tesla Cybertruck.
• Trump’s Territorial Desires
• • As Trump has been eyeing Greenland for a while now, there will definitely be information about the current situation between Trump and Greenland on the exam. Trump wants to buy Greenland, but Greenland is strongly against the idea of that. A notable thing to remember is that if Trump gets a hold of Greenland, it will be renamed to Red, White, and Blueland.
  • Please note that Greenland isn’t the only place Trump wants. Some other significant territories and countries that Trump is interested in are:
  • • Canada → Might become our 51st state.
    • Gulf of Mexico → Recently renamed to Gulf of America.
    • Panama Canal → China controls it.

That concludes the list of topics you need to cram for this exam! Thank you for reading through this study guide we painstakingly put together. We wish you the best of luck on your Regents! 

Please be aware that the topics are subject to change as the current administration backtracks.