Quesadilla Clara: Issue 10

A revival of the popular advice column by Clara Shapiro ‘22.

Quesadilla Clara,

My best friend and I have been drifting apart lately. How can I fix our friendship?

—Lightning McQueen, freshman

Dear Lightning McQueen,

Oh dear. You’ve caught a classic case of the Drift. The moment I left my local DMV with a permit at the ripe age of 16, I became a professional Drifter. All my years of practice on my grandpappy’s farm had finally manifested in a very happy, gap-toothed lassie ready to professionally drift in Formula One.

The first step to drift is to do a donut. You can never start drifting without learning how to donut first. Have you tried giving your friend a donut? I’ve never known anyone who nayed my donut offering, and giving a small gift to a friend is often an excellent way to signal to them that you care about your friendship.

While drifting is exhilarating, you will find that there are moments of thrill and anxiety throughout. You might lose sight of the track, and the ride won’t always go as expected. It is frightening, yes, but it is good for your personal development to not always be bound to one route. You need to have the opportunity to explore other venues and to dedicate time to other friendships and experiences.

The key to drifting correctly is to ensure that you are still in control. You need to understand exactly how much pressure to put on the gas, the exact angle at which to steer, and when you should tell your passenger to grab the Oh No! bars, all in order to prioritize your well-being over everything else. You must understand the exact balance that your vehicle—whether your body or your car—needs.

Friendships, like cars, need maintenance. If you’ve been coasting without really checking in or putting in the effort, things can start to spin out. Bah! Friendships are like cars. They come and go, and some last longer than others. What matters more are the memories you made, the experiences you had, the roads you’ve travelled, and what you learned from it.

Here's the thing—sometimes a drift is just part of the ride. People change, they get busy, or they start going down different lanes. You can steer this situation back on track, but sometimes it is better to recognize which friendships you cannot oil back to full health and need to let go of.

With love,

Quesadilla Clara