Volume 117 Issue 5

Humor

To All the Classes I’ve Loved Before

Some relationships leave you with memories. Others leave you with a 73 on Jupiter.

Humor

Phone-y Findings

Sr. Simon and Dr. Kim fight for survival during Spirit Week by stealing phones.

Sports

115 Charges: The Price of Manchester City’s Rise

Manchester City’s 115 charges raise questions about how it funded its success, and could cost the club its place in the Premier League.

Sports

Ben Shelton Didn’t Get Here Alone

Ben Shelton’s story is incredible, but his incredible journey is also inspiring others to follow his path and also become great players.

Science

Why May We Turn to Love When Stressed, Scared, or Uncertain?

Between looming deadlines, endless assignments, and multiple exams to study for simultaneously, why may students sometimes find themselves thinking more about their crushes than their coursework?

Opinions

Cages, Cogs, and Carnage.

Opinions

NYC’s Budgeting Maze

NYC spends more than $120 billion a year, but with no shared identifier linking awards to contracts, tracking the money is very difficult.

Opinions

Performing Athleticism: Social Media and the Image of Running

While social media has made running more visible and connected runners through online communities, its idealized portrayal of the sport can create expectations that make beginners feel they must look the part before they can participate.

Humor

Uncarved Pumpkins Fear the Worst

As Halloween approaches, many yet-to-be-carved pumpkins fear calamity.

Humor

A Comprehensive Guide to Lying About Your Grades

Lying about your grades, but optimized

Humor

Scientists Reveal That The Joke Is Actually Funnier the Hundredth Time You Say It

Here’s what you should know about science’s latest major breakthrough.

Humor

Choose Your Character: The American Education System

Readers have the ability to choose between several of the American Education System’s different factions.

Humor

BREAKING NEWS: Stuyvesant Class of 2027 Falls Victim to Millennial Transformation

Through their outdated slang, questionable technology habits, and inexplicable nostalgia for the 2010s, Stuyvesant’s Class of 2027 may be millennials trapped in Gen Z bodies.

Humor

A Trick-Or-Treat Takes Over SING!

SING! tries to depict a fun trick-or-treating experience, but some unexpected guests and circumstances show up in homes.

Humor

The Halloween-Based Type Indicator

It's spooky season! What does your go-to costume say about you? Art/Photo Request: Group of children gathered on a street at night dressed in different costumes

Features

Out-Ghouled: Growing Up and Out of the Costume

Students share how they grapple with the reality of growing up when it comes to costumes and candy.

Features

How Do Stuyvesant Students Feel Four Years Out From Their First Encounter With AI?

Four years out from the release of ChatGPT, Stuyvesant students reflect on their feelings, thoughts, and hopes for AI in the future.

Features

Navigating College Admissions Today Amidst the Culture of Fear Online

The Stuyvesant community discusses the effectiveness of social media’s depiction of the college application process and takeaways from it.

Arts and Entertainment

Spooky Sweets: S-Tier Stars and Subpar Selections

The most artistic and entertaining department proudly presents our ranking of 16 of the most loved (or most controversial?) Halloween candies.

Humor

Rogue Halloween Decor On the Loose—Beware!

Halloween decor and costumes have been seen coming to life and taking over Halloween night, possessing bodies and roaming around the streets.

Humor

Dear Upperclassman: How Do I Survive as an Imposter?

Struggling with imposter syndrome at Stuy? An upperclassman offers some foolproof advice on how to survive among the sharks.

Humor

2026 Midterm Elections Turn into a Halloween Costume Contest

With the 2026 midterms looming, candidates discover that the easiest way to win voters over is to stop discussing their policies and start dressing up as them.

Features

Homecoming: More than a Game

Homecoming is much more than an event; it’s an experience that unifies Stuyvesant in unique ways.

Sports

Going the Distance with Isla Broadbent

Meet Isla Broadbent, a sophomore on Stuyvesant’s cross country team who reflects on her growth as a runner, her proudest racing moments, and the team traditions that keep her motivated.

Humor

To All the Classes I’ve Loved Before

Some relationships leave you with memories. Others leave you with a 73 on Jupiter.

Humor

Phone-y Findings

Sr. Simon and Dr. Kim fight for survival during Spirit Week by stealing phones.

Sports

115 Charges: The Price of Manchester City’s Rise

Manchester City’s 115 charges raise questions about how it funded its success, and could cost the club its place in the Premier League.

Sports

Ben Shelton Didn’t Get Here Alone

Ben Shelton’s story is incredible, but his incredible journey is also inspiring others to follow his path and also become great players.

Science

Why May We Turn to Love When Stressed, Scared, or Uncertain?

Between looming deadlines, endless assignments, and multiple exams to study for simultaneously, why may students sometimes find themselves thinking more about their crushes than their coursework?

Science

The Billion-Dollar Sleep Ring: Can You Trust Oura’s Sleep Score?

Oura Ring, one of the most trending smart health devices currently, is facing criticism about its effectiveness.

Opinions

Cages, Cogs, and Carnage.

Opinions

NYC’s Budgeting Maze

NYC spends more than $120 billion a year, but with no shared identifier linking awards to contracts, tracking the money is very difficult.

Opinions

Performing Athleticism: Social Media and the Image of Running

While social media has made running more visible and connected runners through online communities, its idealized portrayal of the sport can create expectations that make beginners feel they must look the part before they can participate.

Opinions

Romanticizing Running: The Important Role of Social Media in Glamorizing Physical Activity

The increasing social media presence of running has made the sport more social and diversified, encouraging beginners to run and reap its physical and mental benefits.

News

Feces Thrown on Students at Chambers Street Subway Station

Multiple students have reported or witnessed feces being thrown on students while leaving the Chambers Street Subway station.

Humor

Zuckerberg: Become Human

Here’s how our favorite lizard android broke his “red wall” of programming.

Humor

Ghosts of Future’s Past

Upperclassmen are met with ghosts from the future warning them about college and their current decisions.

Humor

Uncarved Pumpkins Fear the Worst

As Halloween approaches, many yet-to-be-carved pumpkins fear calamity.

Humor

A Comprehensive Guide to Lying About Your Grades

Lying about your grades, but optimized

Arts and Entertainment

Bite of the Issue

Tang Sushi in the East Village is both reasonably priced and delicious, with their hand rolls being some of the best in Stuyvesant’s vicinity.

Humor

Scientists Reveal That The Joke Is Actually Funnier the Hundredth Time You Say It

Here’s what you should know about science’s latest major breakthrough.

Humor

I’m Bloody Broke!

Vampires are supposed to be rich… right? But our friend here isn’t. He’s unemployed and broke. Oh, but he’s going job hunting. Will he pass his job interview?

Humor

Rogue Halloween Decor On the Loose—Beware!

Halloween decor and costumes have been seen coming to life and taking over Halloween night, possessing bodies and roaming around the streets.

Humor

Dear Upperclassman: How Do I Survive as an Imposter?

Struggling with imposter syndrome at Stuy? An upperclassman offers some foolproof advice on how to survive among the sharks.

Humor

Choose Your Character: The American Education System

Readers have the ability to choose between several of the American Education System’s different factions.

Humor

BREAKING NEWS: Stuyvesant Class of 2027 Falls Victim to Millennial Transformation

Through their outdated slang, questionable technology habits, and inexplicable nostalgia for the 2010s, Stuyvesant’s Class of 2027 may be millennials trapped in Gen Z bodies.

Humor

A Trick-Or-Treat Takes Over SING!

SING! tries to depict a fun trick-or-treating experience, but some unexpected guests and circumstances show up in homes.

Humor

The Halloween-Based Type Indicator

It's spooky season! What does your go-to costume say about you? Art/Photo Request: Group of children gathered on a street at night dressed in different costumes

Humor

2026 Midterm Elections Turn into a Halloween Costume Contest

With the 2026 midterms looming, candidates discover that the easiest way to win voters over is to stop discussing their policies and start dressing up as them.

Features

Out-Ghouled: Growing Up and Out of the Costume

Students share how they grapple with the reality of growing up when it comes to costumes and candy.

Features

How Do Stuyvesant Students Feel Four Years Out From Their First Encounter With AI?

Four years out from the release of ChatGPT, Stuyvesant students reflect on their feelings, thoughts, and hopes for AI in the future.

Features

Homecoming: More than a Game

Homecoming is much more than an event; it’s an experience that unifies Stuyvesant in unique ways.

Features

Navigating College Admissions Today Amidst the Culture of Fear Online

The Stuyvesant community discusses the effectiveness of social media’s depiction of the college application process and takeaways from it.

Arts and Entertainment

Spooky Sweets: S-Tier Stars and Subpar Selections

The most artistic and entertaining department proudly presents our ranking of 16 of the most loved (or most controversial?) Halloween candies.