Dear Upperclassman: How Do I Survive as an Imposter?

Dear Upperclassman, 

Everyone’s getting ready to be somebody they’re not for Halloween, but I’ve been doing that since the first day of school. How do I get over this imposter syndrome? 

I was already feeling insecure, but now that I’m here, I’m sort of freaking out. Everyone is even smarter than I imagined. Why does everything we’re learning seem to be review for everyone else? Did I miss some sort of underground Stuy prep class that started in kindergarten? Like, why does everyone just know stuff? It’s like they’re human ChatGPTs!

Honestly, I don’t even know how I got here. I guessed on the last 20 questions of the SHSAT and somehow made the cut. I’m starting to think I got in because of some administrative error. And frankly, it’s kind of irresponsible that they let me in.

What should I do? Am I just overthinking this? Am I just anxious about the start of school? Help! 

Sincerely, 

Nervous Freshman

Dear Nervous Freshman, 

I know that you might expect me to say that you are overthinking this whole thing and that you just need to get used to the new environment, but I’m afraid that you have every right to be nervous. You have correctly assessed your place in this hierarchy. This is a dangerous ocean, my friend, and you are a goldfish swimming with sharks.

But do not worry! As a fellow imposter, I have advice for you. There’s nothing wrong with being a goldfish. The trick is to make yourself feel like a shark.

First, move the point of comparison. You’re only feeling like an imposter because you’re comparing yourself to the sharks. There are people we would never dare to compare ourselves to because it would be ridiculous for us to do so. Would you compare yourself to Nobel Prize winners? To Stuy teachers? To college students? Of course not. Just keep moving the point of comparison further down. Why are you comparing yourself to the students in your class? Compare yourself to the person who knows even less than you do. If you can’t find anyone in your grade, try another grade. But why stop there? Compare yourself to a middle schooler, and boom, you’ll feel pretty good. Next to a tiny baby goldfish, even an ordinary goldfish can feel like a shark. 

But as reassuring as it is to think about how much smarter you are than a middle schooler, it can be hard to maintain that level of self-esteem throughout the school day when you’re surrounded by sharks, so here’s my second piece of advice: create a smaller, less intimidating pond to swim in. The key is to find your fellow imposters. These goldfish are pretty easy to spot if you know what you’re looking for. Look for the student who participates just enough to not get cold-called on. These students are especially eager when it comes to volunteering to read out loud. But be careful not to assume that every quiet student is an imposter. They could very well be a super genius who finds the material too easy and boring, and their summative assessment grade is so high that it’s not worth participating. 

You have to be willing to put yourself out there to find your fellow imposters. You might want to casually say something in class, like “I just don’t understand” or “Oh man, I failed again.” Look around and see if anyone says, “Same here.” That person is a promising imposter. If someone says, “Same here,” and then adds, “I got a 90,” get as far away from that person as possible. You do not want that kind of negativity in your life. 

Now, once you’ve found your people, stay close to them at all times. Sit with them at lunch, study with them, and compare grades with only them. Do not, and I repeat, do not let anyone else into your circle without proper vetting. Eventually, you may even discover that you’re actually pretty good at something compared to these other people. Congrats! You are now the biggest goldfish in the pond.

If, for some reason, you find that my first two pieces of advice aren’t enough to get over your imposter syndrome, there’s one more thing you can do. Instead of making yourself feel like a shark, make others believe that you are one. In other words, just embrace being an imposter and be the best, most authentic imposter you can be. If you can pretend like you’re not an imposter, then are you really an imposter? 

So how do you perfect the art of being an imposter? Start by changing your view of what Stuy is. It is not a school. It is a movie set, and you’ve landed the lead role of a brilliant high school student. Then, do what all great thespians do: research your role and rehearse. Remember that quiet genius I told you to be careful of? That’s the perfect person to study. Observe them carefully and practice imitating them. Practice their trademark smirk, their condescending look when they see a test, and their look of utter disinterest at any talk of grades, as though grades are a joke to them. And then give an Oscar-worthy performance. 

Now, you have to be willing to sacrifice your grades because in all the acting, you’re not actually doing the schoolwork. But let’s be honest, you never really had a chance with the sharks anyway. Just make sure you never, ever talk about your grades. If your performance is convincing enough, people will just assume that you’re too humble to mention how high they are. Now you’re a shark with moral character, too!

Remember, the most important thing in life, despite what your parents or teachers may say, is how you’ll be remembered in high school. Who cares if you’re a goldfish, as long as everyone remembers you as a shark?

So happy swimming, fellow goldfish!