2026 Midterm Elections Turn into a Halloween Costume Contest

The 2026 midterm elections are quickly approaching, and Americans have once again been given the opportunity to decide who should make their lives better, worse, or even both. In an effort to increase voter engagement, election officials have announced a new initiative: a nationally televised Halloween costume contest in which well-known political figures will dress as their policy platforms and explain why their costumes are better than everyone else’s. Organizers hope the event will encourage young voters to pay attention to the issues plaguing America.

The contest will feature speeches, costume judging, and a panel of experts tasked with determining which candidate has the most convincing outfit. Organizers clarified that the judges would not evaluate actual policy proposals nor count any more than one vote, as this could make the event unnecessarily complicated.

President Donald Trump arrived dressed as a giant tariff label, complete with a price tag reading “MAKE HALLOWEEN GREAT AGAIN.” His campaign described the costume as a tribute to American manufacturing and the importance of putting American workers first. Reporters later discovered that the costume had been manufactured overseas.

When asked whether his tariffs might increase the cost of Halloween candy, Trump declared that his costume was the most beautiful, most incredible, most tremendous costume ever made. He then announced that the judges had awarded him 100 points out of 100. His campaign subsequently disputed the score, insisting that he had received 150 points and the original count was rigged.

Trump went on to speak about how tariffs would make candy cheaper. When a moderator pointed out that tariffs could make imported goods more expensive, Trump explained that his opponent wanted American children to pay more for candy. He then called the moderator “fake news” and asked whether anyone had seen his costume. The moderator paused before confirming that everyone had seen it. Satisfied, Trump thanked the moderator for the excellent question. 

At the end of Trump’s speech, a reporter asked whether the administration would release the remaining Epstein files before Halloween. Trump called the question a witch hunt and insisted that the real scandal was the price of candy corn.

Vice President JD Vance arrived dressed as a couch, which his campaign described as a symbol of traditional American family values. He promised to defend the nuclear family and protect unborn children, but when asked about supporting families after birth, he conveniently had many remarks and opinions to share about whether a zombie or a vampire would make for a better Supreme Court justice. The judges awarded him the “Most Likely to Haunt a Planned Parenthood” prize. Vance accepted, then asked whether the award came with a matching throw pillow for his couch.

Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. arrived dressed as a bear and immediately began inspecting the Halloween decorations. He stopped in front of a row of plastic skeletons and pointed at them in alarm. “Look at all these skeletons! Do you see what the vaccines are doing to our children? First they get the shot, then they lose all their flesh! STOP VACCINATING YOUR CHILDREN!” he exclaimed.

The moderator stated that “The skeletons are plastic and have been purchased at a nearby Halloween store earlier this week. They are not real.”

Kennedy immediately asked whether the store had been funded by pharmaceutical companies to spread propaganda. He then announced a new public health initiative to reduce the number of childhood vaccines routinely recommended by federal health officials. When asked whether the skeletons were evidence for his claims, he insisted that the evidence was standing right in front of them. The judges awarded Kennedy a bag of candy corn and asked him to leave the skeletons alone. He agreed, provided that the candy was tested for microplastics. The skeletons were unavailable for comment.

Mayor Zohran Mamdani arrived dressed as a CitiBike, complete with a helmet and a docking station. The judges noted that the helmet was a wise precaution, given that New Yorkers had previously reminded him to wear one.

He spent the first 10 minutes of his speech introducing himself in hundreds of languages. When he finally finished, an eager reporter immediately asked if he was planning on learning any new languages. Mamdani stated that he was currently learning Latin in order to converse with Vampires and the New York dialect of Rodent-ese to communicate with the subway rats.

By the end of 2026, his goal is to communicate with the rat leaders and hire some rats for the first-ever rat-powered public transport in order to eliminate fares and get rid of cursed OMNY cards forever. This followed his recent collaboration with the New York City pigeons to uncover a witch’s coven in the depths of Central Park that had cursed all OMNY cards to fail whenever students needed them most. His speech culminated in sharing his plans for affordable childcare using recycled mummy wrappings as diapers and old zombie stitches to sew blankets.

The debate continued with both politicians making promises about the future. Trump promised a stronger economy, cheaper candy, and the greatest Halloween America had ever seen! On the other hand, Mamdani promised a more affordable New York, where nobody would have to choose between paying rent and buying a costume.

Following the live voting, the final results were announced shortly before midnight. Mamdani won 58 percent to Trump’s 42 percent. Trump declared that the voting was rigged and that he had won by a historic landslide. He then demanded a recount. Mamdani pointed out that he had won more votes. Trump called this fake mathematics. After a second count produced the same result, officials declared the counts closed and warned against storming any Spirit Halloween stores before turning off the microphones.

Organizers declared the initiative a success, citing increased voter engagement and the number of Americans who had watched politicians argue over Halloween costumes for several hours. Plans are underway to bring the contest back in 2028 for the presidential election, with bigger costumes, louder speeches, and psychics to help count ghosts’ votes.