Eshaal Ubaid (eshaal-ubaid)

eubaid40@stuy.edu

Eshaal Ubaid (‘24) is a Humor writer. She loves writing short stories and funny spin-offs of real events. She’s also a huge fan of puns, even if her peers lose a little bit of hope in humanity every time she makes one. She likes math, art, and K-pop.

So You Want “W Rizz”

Pick up maidens or hand in your letter of rizzignation.

Issue 9, Volume 113

Seung Yu 2024

The perfect candidate for presidency has been right beneath our noses all along.

Issue 7, Volume 113

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ThankLESS Giving, 2022

Giving thanks is hard—why not complain instead?

Issue 6, Volume 113

Wow, You HAVE to Visit These 10 Stuyvesant Monuments! [NOT CLICKBAIT]

Alexander Chu, Eshaal Ubaid

Cancel your Paris plans—we’re giving you a tour of THE Stuyvesant High School!

Issue 2, Volume 113

“Stuyvesant? In THIS Economy?”

Faced with dying economy and crippling inflation rates, Stuyvesant High School tyrannically imposes taxes onto popular hangout spots.

Issue 1, Volume 113

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The SU Follows Up New Voting System With Gerrymandering

Maybe we should stick to low voter turnout…

Issue 15, Volume 112

Even Teachers Love “Stuy Crying Corner”

EVERYTHING IS PAIN.

Issue 14, Volume 112

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Students Review AP Courses on Yelp

Some of y’all are ruthless but CollegeBoard deserves it.

Issue 12, Volume 112

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Debating the Affirmative Side (My Love For You)

The simple folk say “no, I love YOU more! Heehee!,” but the sophisticated research and debate their cases.

Issue 10, Volume 112

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Spotify Wrapped 2021

Ready to get exposed for every reason you’re scared of revealing your playlist?

Issue 8, Volume 112

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To the Chambers Street Station: A Modern Odyssey

Issue 7, Volume 112

A-nya-lizing the Catboy Maid Invasion

Alexander Chu, Eshaal Ubaid

Our experts here at the Spectator are paw-sitive that this is no cat-incidence

Issue 6, Volume 112

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What Your Favorite Music Genre Says About You!

Eshaal Ubaid, Erica Chen

From incoherent screaming to the pretentious world of Mozart, your playlist says a lot about how un-okay you are!

Issue 5, Volume 112

The Chilling Tale of Locker 666

Alexander Chu, Eshaal Ubaid

When Stuy’s creepiest hotspots start acting up, who you gonna call? Off-brand ghostbusters Alex & Eshaal!

Issue 4, Volume 112

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Desk Vandalism: A New Messaging Medium

Desk vandal buddies don’t invade the privacy of other desk vandal buddies. It’s so not cool.

Issue 3, Volume 112

Arguing with Some Loser on Twitter

Fighting IRL just isn’t the same as attacking someone’s profile picture.

Issue 2, Volume 112

Arguing with Some Loser on Twitter

Fighting IRL just isn’t the same as attacking someone’s profile picture.

Issue 2, Volume 112

Oh God, Where’s the Exit?

Eshaal Ubaid, Erica Chen

Apparently, 10th graders (and literally everyone else) are just as lost as the freshly graduated sticky iPad kids.

Issue 1, Volume 112

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Talos Glitches, Gives Junior 23-Period Daily Schedule

At least we all get an extra free?

Issue 17, Volume 111

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Stuyvesant’s (Kinda) Got Talent!

Eshaal Ubaid, Erica Chen

To an evening of unmatched talent! The Freshman Caucus has a few words on the performances at this year’s virtual talent show.

Issue 15, Volume 111

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Stuyvesant, Sometime in the Distant Future

The year is 2050, and this reporter is wondering if Stuyvesant is truly different from any other tech-based school she has encountered.

Issue 13, Volume 111

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Inside the Stuyvesant Math Team

The esteemed Stuyvesant Math Team is found to be a chaotic place stocked with obscure inside jokes, a passion for Jamboard drawings, and a shared disdain for the CML.

Issue 12, Volume 111

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A Button for Everything

Following the discovery of a Diet Coke button in the Oval Office, we’re left to ponder: why stop at soda?

Issue 10, Volume 111

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