Rating AP Exams Based on Their Difficulties
We’re just trying to figure out our chances of scoring a five before even taking the test, man.
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Since the College Board loves to administer a lot of tests solely to profit from poor, unsuspecting students, we’re giving you a guide on how to pass most of the APs, with what to expect and how to prepare!
AP Art History
It is the most USELESS AP. Seriously, why are you taking it? It’s just the College Board’s secret weapon to see if students have a photographic memory. You can’t even show off your stick figures. 5/10
AP Music Theory
The other most useless AP, but at least now you can live in harmony~ with others. We expect you to be able to play five instruments after this test and impress all your relatives with your rendition of Canon in D. 6/10
Your hand will probably die from writing three essays in two hours on obscure topics, like why Humor is the best department of The Spectator, but the essays are very BS-able and the multiple choice is a rip-off of the SAT. 7/10
Any Foreign Language AP
If you’re a fluent speaker taking this class for a free grade: 0/10. If you’re not a fluent speaker, why are you here? I can’t wait to see your proctor’s reaction when you mix up your vocabulary and say that you like to *BLEEP.* 10/10
Every question will send you on a trip of self-reflection and make you reconsider all your previous life decisions, but hey, at least you get free therapy for your undiagnosed depression! 8/10
Any History AP
Remember that 70 percent of the drama happens due to money, 20 percent due to religion, and 10 percent due to human stupidity. Your 400-page review packet (and the killing of trees) will prepare you for anything! 7/10
The 12 hours you spend hunched in front of a computer at a time (mostly playing video games) has finally prepared you for this moment. After this test, you must get a life and touch grass. At least it’s Java and not C++. 20/10
The function f represents the amount of tears a Stuyvesant student sheds during AP season. Using the input x, the amount of coffee a student consumes, and y, the amount of sleep a student gets, find the minimum and maximum amount of coffee a student can have before they break down. Show your work. 11/10
A class for wannabe math nerds who weren’t good enough for AP Calc. Take the results of the question from AP Calc and find the average amount of breakdowns across Stuy. 8/10
Unfortunately, forces that keep molecules together cannot help you find a date and bond with them. At least now you get to learn a bunch of new pickup lines. Don’t forget your periodic table! 1000/10
Only the smartest will survive and become successful in Ivy Leagues, babies are created ahem via the Hudson staircase, and the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell! 8/10
Climate change is real. Save the turtles! And the freshmen. 5/10
Noooo no no no. It might be better to throw yourself off a cliff at a speed of 150 m/s with a force of 750 N instead of taking the exam. 10000/10
Um, what’s that again? An AP on how hugging works because we’re all starving for attention and validation? In that case, -100/10.
Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any scores or your potential lack of brain cells. Nonetheless, we wish you the best of luck (not that you’ll need it—you’re a Stuy student) and have full confidence you can easily score a five no matter which AP test you’re taking!