Tesla Cybertruck Officially Announces Bid for 2028 Presidential Election

The newest model of the Tesla Cybertruck officially announced its campaign for the 2028 U.S. presidential election on May 4, 2026. Early reports show the Cybertruck ticket polling at about 28 percent, significantly higher than other potential candidates like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Marco Rubio. In an interview, one disgruntled voter lamented his support for the ticket: “How do I tell my family at the Thanksgiving dinner table that I think a semiautonomous vehicle would make a better candidate for president than, well, humans?”

Others, however, were more reserved. “Does it even matter anymore? The Illuminati already decide who wins months before the election even happens,” another voter remarked. “Whether it’s Cybertruck or Biden or Trump, the fate of the world is doomed anyway.” 

DYNAMIC: The campaign has received significant criticism over the selection of the vice presidential nominee, Ryan Gosling, particularly regarding his extreme lack of political experience and how he would interact with a vehicle throughout the term. Many have expressed concerns over whether it is presidential for the vice president of the United States to plug the president into a local electric charging station after a long day, or how the candidates would attend important domestic meetings without any accommodations. When confronted with this, Gosling argued, “Reagan was an actor. If you think about it, I’m basically the next Reagan, no cap.” Any further attempts made at questioning him failed as all he responded with was “It’s electric, bro.” He also emphasized his background of starring in a bunch of unrelated movies that you’ve never seen in your life, like Barbie and La La Land.

PLATFORM: The Cybertruck-Gosling ticket has campaigned on major issues like lowering the cost of foreign petroleum, decreasing unemployment, and enacting tax cuts. If elected, they promise to pass bills “banning inflation” and “making jobs.” One such bill, nicknamed Project 2028, would implement a nationwide online repeal of the censorship of the word “job,” converting it back from its predecessor, “j*b.” Project 2028 also includes many potential policies addressing the deregulation of domestic markets to save the country from “The Phantom Zone,” as dubbed by Gosling. “How come nobody wants to talk to the drug dealer? Because we’re going to wage a hell of a war on drugs,” he stated. Project 2028 also includes numerous reforms to tax policy in order to reinvigorate American presence on the moon. The estimated $500 billion new gross income of the U.S. would be used to extend the Artemis missions and increase NASA funding. Cybertruck and Gosling have coined the slogan “Yay Space!” to represent the ambitious policies of space travel that they would enact in ‘28.

As of now, many political pundits have refrained from interacting with the Cybertruck-Gosling campaign, citing issues related to the fact that the next election is still two years away. Others expressed concerns over the chances of the ticket as a whole, as the Cybertruck-Gosling campaign is running under the Whig party for the next election cycle. In an online voice call over Truth Social, Cybertruck reasoned that “America needs a true alternative to save us from the [EXPLETIVE] disaster that we’re in right now.” 

OVERALL: The Cybertruck-Gosling ticket is highly enthusiastic and driven, and the ticket’s policies are well thought-out, although somewhat infeasible. However, campaigning as the Whig party will undeniably hurt their chances of garnering enough support to prove themselves on the world stage. Additionally, many of the more traditional two-party (human) candidates have already expressed their concerns over having a vehicle in charge of the country, inquiring, “what would happen in a power outage?” Thus, The Spectator does not endorse this ticket.