Remote Purity Test

Reading Time: 1 minute

Issue 16, Volume 111

By The Editorial Board 

1. Cried after class.

2. Cried during class.

3. Snoozed your alarm and was late to class.

4. Did the gym fitness log.

5. Accidentally unmuted yourself.

6. Left when the teacher put everyone in breakout rooms and came back, seeing just yourself and your teacher.

7. Spent an entire class period without going on your phone.

8. Spent an entire class period on another tab.

9. Befriended a freshman this year.

10. Submitted something to a Stuy confessions page.

11. Been interviewed by a Spectator writer.

12. Received no responses to your Facebook post.

13. Bumped someone else’s Facebook post.

14. Gone to office hours weekly.

15. E-mailed a teacher because of a missed homework assignment.

16. Pulled an all-nighter.

17. Bought SAT II books just to find out that the tests were canceled.

18. Been outside or in the Stuy building at least once this year.

19. Eaten during class.

20. Spent an entire breakout room session in silence.

If you got <6, you’re not a Stuy student.

If you got 6-10, you’re on the fence. You probably belong to Bronx Science.

If you got 11-15, you’re a student who has never entered the Stuy building.

If you got >16, you are unfortunately a Stuy student.