I FOUND THE EVIDENCE: If You’re Reading This, There’s Something Wrong with Reality

Hey, you there. 

… Make sure you’re alone before you read this. They might be watching. Who’s they? Well, I mean… just please believe me. No phones, no cameras, no people, no anything. Look, there’s no time to be argu—shhhh!!! They’re going to hear you. Oh please, please, find a safe place soon. Before the world comes to an end. Please.

Are you alone yet? Okay, good. As soon as you find this message, just know that reality has begun glitching. And let’s get this out of the way first: I’m not being dramatic, nor am I crazy. I’ve heard that from enough doctors already. Even as reality is tearing itself apart, there are still doctors who need to take women’s healthcare more seriously. Can you believe that? In this day and apocalyptic age, some things never change. 

Anyways, at least spare me a few minutes so I can warn you as to what is going to happen and what you should do once you confirm for yourself (the signs will speak for themselves). I promise this will only take three minutes max, and then… I don’t know, don’t ask me what to do with the rest of your short life.

But, a few weeks ago, I noticed something strange. It wasn’t in-your-face dinosaur-and-exploding-meteorite kind of strange. It was more of a unpopped-popcorn-kernel-in-a-bag-full-of-popped-popcorn-andthenitgetsstuckinyourteeth type of surprise. Subtle and annoyingly out of place. What? No, I’ve never had a kernel stuck in my teeth. Who do you think I am? 

So the point is, right, I noticed something strange. Wait, did I say that already? Sorry. Gosh, I think some of that dreaded air escaped into my bunker, which is one of the only places the Visitors can’t reach. As you might soon find out, the Visitors’ thorns and dizzying mist only extend so far underground, and the surface was already gone a long time ago, and no one roams up there except for the teams in hazmat suits. Though the general consensus is that they’re just a government ploy to show the people everything is alright while doppelgangers tread the streets.

But let me tell you, it was unsettling just how everything began. As inconspicuous as it was (and will be) to everyone else, I first noticed it on a grocery trip back in September (yes, as early as September). I was passing a wind farm near the Costco in Brooklyn, and my eyes were following the flight path of a seagull in the distance. I watched as it flew near the wind turbines, and the next moment, the sky was overcome by black smoke rising from a sparking, broken wing of a turbine that fell with a resounding thud as the whole structure began to collapse onto itself. I looked at my family driving in the car and the family in the next car over, but no one seemed to notice anything. I pulled up my phone and checked the news reports afterwards, but there was no mention of the accident anywhere. 

As I said, that’s when I knew reality was glitching, and no one seemed to pay any mind. As the days passed, I noticed increasing signs of tears in reality: the escalators at Stuy started working again, and when I passed by the hydroponics lab, I swear I saw Mr. Citron and Mr. McClellan smiling to themselves over glowing samples. Not to mention, the national debt decreased, “67” fell from popularity, and polar bears made their reintroduction as a Little Ice Age happened globally.

Then, the big changes started occurring. The governments around the world started acting… bizarre. Suddenly, the hot topic was environmental conservation and climate change. Looking back, they must’ve noticed that something was strange as well. Or maybe it was already too late for them. Oh. I see, I forgot to tell you. Hm. There’s no easy way to put this, but the Visitors are… aliens. They have encroached upon human society and begun replacing people, ever so slowly. And, honestly, they’re doing too good a job at being human… Even world government leaders have been scared into promoting climate activism, and the COPs have started leading somewhere, with some countries already being reclaimed by nature, and people are reverting back to a more… simple way of life. At least there’s still WiFi where I’m at.

I watched the overtaking of humanity on the news: North Sentinelese started making contact with reporters around the world, warning them of the Great Reclamation. No one believed them, but I did the research, and after the Amazon Rainforest suddenly doubled its plant population overnight, there was simply no other explanation for me to believe. Again, no one seemed to realize just how bizarre the situation was, but I could see behind-the-scenes actions from world leaders. Mainly, I noticed that American-led human-fueled resistance efforts were created to stop the spread of the Visitors’ influence: some companies ramped up the use of fossil fuels and polluted the rivers to fight these nature-motivated aliens. All of a sudden, the temperature started skyrocketing—it was like global warming, I’m telling you!

You know, I always thought aliens skipped out on Earthlings because they saw Elon Musk’s Cybertruck and turned back, proclaiming no sign of intelligent life. I don’t know why they decided to change their minds, but at least we can rest assured that animal welfare will be doing just fine. I think they are trying to reclaim the earth, you see.

There are definitely some humans who can see past the global cover-ups and have welcomed the aliens with open arms, but the conglomerates are recruiting more people for resistance efforts. I heard they’re getting paid pretty well, too. After the first world leader started sprouting orchids from the top of his head, it confirmed my suspicions, as well as those of many so-called conspiracy theorists. In the internet’s underground, people have been quick to catch on, ransacking their nearest grocery stores, which at first caused mass panic among the ordinary public, since they refused to listen to us.

Now, most of us just want to stay inside, away from the red, thorny vines that run along the streets, attacking people who litter and use electronics. More importantly, you should be wary of the Visitors who come knocking every night, picking a new person to be replaced. Never, ever, ever answer your door. There’s no one there.

People don’t even call each other nowadays. Too many prying eyes and ears. Just messages, like the one I’m sending you. Make sure to stock up on supplies (and renew your internet plan) once the signs make themselves obvious. And make sure to find somewhere safe to hide underground, as the vines don’t reach down here.

So pay close attention the next time something feels out of place, okay? My intent is not to scare you… I just… wanted to warn you about the impending doom befalling humankind. I know you don’t trust just anyone, but believe me when I say I’m only trying to be a good samaritan in these rough times, and we can all do with more kindness in this forsaken world. We all need a sliver of hope that we can return to the way things were: before the Visitors, before the isolation and bunkers, before the empty grocery aisles and skirmishes over supplies, just…before.

Well… if you ever need a place to crash when the Visitors eventually come knocking at your door, I’ll be at the train station down the street. I had a tech friend of mine fix up my internet and connect it to a remote energy station that hasn’t been raided yet, so no worries about not having an internet connection. I am in need of some company in my bunker anyways. Oh, and don’t forget to bring a phone charger with you! I can’t scroll on my phone anymore, and I’m typing out this message with my last seven percent. In case you were wondering, I didn’t buy the charger from my friend since it cost nearly $300—with the discount. Inflation these days.

And thanks for listening to my whole spiel. I mean it. It’s rare to find folks like you nowadays.

Stay safe out there.