How to Get StuyFit on Zero Workout Time

In my previous articles, I rigorously covered academics and social life, but now we need to talk about something equally important: our physical health—or, perhaps more importantly, a toned body. And since it’s December, it’s the perfect time to add that to our list of New Year’s resolutions. Now, if you’re one of the students who do a sport and manage to stay fit while also handling your workload, good for you. Truly, I’m happy for you. And by “happy for you,” I mean “slightly jealous.” This article is for the rest of us who barely get 1,000 steps a day (and only when the escalator breaks), who sit for 90 percent of our waking hours, and who have not experienced direct sunlight since early September. Is fitness even possible for us? Yes, yes it is! You just have to take advantage of the valuable fitness moments that Stuy gives you. Welcome to StuyFit!

1. Turn the Stuy Building Into a Gym

The key is to make everything a workout opportunity. Think of the school building as your personal fitness arena. I mean, who has the time and money for a gym membership?

Use What You Carry

Start with your backpack, your built-in weight system. Always take the stairs. To turn the trip into an arm workout, pull out your heaviest textbook, open it, and lift it up and down like you’re switching between reading and memorizing. No one will think this is weird—frantically studying while walking is extremely on-brand for Stuy students.

Add Some Squats

Feeling bold? Knock out a few squats in the hallway. If someone gives you a weird look, just pretend you’re picking something up off the floor. Better yet, squat when you see a piece of garbage, pick it up, and throw it out. You’ll get those squats in, and people will think you’re environmentally conscious. Win-win!

Get Your Cardio In

Don’t forget cardio: always speedwalk. People may look at you and wonder why you’re speedwalking like a senior retiree doing laps at the mall. The rapid hip swivel and aggressively bent elbows aren’t exactly “cool,” but they are effective. If you’re feeling self-conscious, just keep muttering “I’m late, I’m late,” and no one will question why you’re always rushing.

3. Turn Class Time Into Six-Pack Time

The warmer months are coming, and nothing’s more impressive than a six-pack—except, of course, a 1600 on the SAT. If that’s you, stop reading and go talk to your crush (see my last article—shameless plug!). Bring a screenshot. For the rest of us, here’s to multitasking!

Tighten Your Core

Start by tightening your stomach muscles. It’s simple and surprisingly effective. The downside? It’s hard to participate—talking is difficult when your entire core is clenched. That’s when you break out the “deep-thinker face,” the look that says you’re too absorbed in the lesson to speak. That’ll get you those participation points. (See my first article—another shameless plug.)

Add Leg Lifts

Next, lift your legs while keeping your core tight. If you’re shorter, this might look totally normal—my grandmother’s legs dangle from most chairs, and it’s honestly pretty adorable. If you’re taller, alternate legs so it looks like stretching. Just make sure you don’t kick the person in front of you.

Try the Chair Lift (Advanced)

If you want to speed up the six-pack, lift your whole body slightly off the chair using your arms. It works, but it’s risky—you can’t take notes mid-air, so be strategic. Wait for the kid who asks an off-topic question or for the moment your teacher goes off on a tangent. That’s your window of opportunity. This move may even make you look super engaged—nothing says “I’m locked in” like hovering two inches above your chair. Another win-win.

3. Turn Hydration Into a Workout

We all know we should be drinking more—it’s good for your skin, your focus, your energy, and yes, your fitness goals, more than you might expect!

Carry More Than One Bottle

Consider carrying two water bottles throughout the day, and make sure one of them is one of those obnoxiously huge ones. This instantly makes your speed walk around the building more intense (see Section 1): heavy backpack, textbook in one hand, giant water bottle in the other, plus a second bottle clipped to your bag for extra weight. And honestly? Only really fit people care this much about hydration, so people will assume you’re fit, even if you’re definitely not. And hey, looking the part might be the first step toward actually getting there. Fake it ’til you make it!

Turn Bathroom Trips Into More Cardio

More water means more bathroom breaks. Instead of seeing that as an inconvenience, treat each trip like a mini cardio burst. And while you’re speed-walking your way to the bathroom, stop by a window for three seconds. There’s our much-needed Vitamin D for the day—another StuyFit win!

Refill for Maximum Steps

Commit to refilling your bottle only at the water fountains farthest from your classes.* Bonus points if getting there requires stairs. Do this, and Section 1’s speed-walk now becomes a run—nothing motivates cardio like the fear of being late.

*Warning: StuyFit is not liable for whatever is in that water. Good luck.

4. Turn Gym Into… Actual Gym

Let’s end with something radical: what if—stay with me—during gym, you actually did gym? Instead of reviewing Latin vocab in your head or perfecting the art of micro-napping during sit-ups, try doing the workouts. Gym class could legit become your biggest weekly source of physical activity. Here’s a tip: really try to trick yourself into believing that gym counts towards your GPA. Shocking how motivating that can be.

A Final Note on StuyFit

Joking aside, we need to seriously think about our health during these years. Too often, I (and many others) find ourselves putting physical and mental well-being at the bottom of the priority list, somewhere below “finish chem lab” and “cry about next week’s math test.” Our health deserves more. So take these tips, try them out, and laugh a little along the way—partly to balance out the crying, partly because laughing is good for you. And let’s make a toned body… I mean, getting StuyFit, our official New Year’s resolution!