Five Magnificent Things to Do When You’re at Summer Camp

If you’re reading this article, you’re probably packing your bodybags right now to go off to some niche camp in either upstate New York, Vermont, or Pennsylvania (no exceptions). But fear not, as the writers at The Spectator have arrived to save you from the dreadful boredom that you’ll inevitably feel while lying around in your bunk! Here are just five easy things to do while you’re somehow feeling down in the wild, wild outdoors: 

1. Touch Grass

Yep, that’s right! The number one activity to do at summer camp is to touch some grass. A recent study conducted by my fifth cousin’s neighbor showed that, in comparison to a control group, about 58 percent of people who regularly make physical contact with shrubbery rate their happiness factor an eight out of 10. So when you’re a ragebait away from completely breaking down in the middle of lunch, ask your counselor if you can go outside for a walk. If you ever feel awkward asking, some ideal places to ask are during a hike, the evening activity, or any place not in your cabin! Maybe they’ll even let you bring a Camp Whatchamacalit™ hard-boiled egg to snack on while you’re making grass angels!

2. Participate in a Ton of Activities

This is something you’ve probably heard a lot of people say to you (either in-person, through text, or on a subreddit), but the rumors are all true! The next step to making friends all by yourself is to… join activities! A little tidbit that I’ve learned through my experience is that the more niche-sounding the activity sounds, the nicer the people are. Even better would be to host an activity yourself. It’s as easy as getting some friends together on the musty, dusty, crusty bunk floor or making an impromptu gathering at your lunch table. Some great, practical examples of this include:

• Flaming Hot Potato (a classic lighter-and-fluid game)

• Tag (specifically when the camp director’s “it”)
• Card games (including, but not limited to, FlapJack, Saliva, and Over-Fished) 

3. Sleep

Ah, a classic. Whether you live in Abu Dhabi, Oslo, or Quiro, guess what we all need to do? Take a big, fat nap! Now, there have been a few quibbles with campers between their oh-so-precious sleep and the absolute disaster of their bunk beds. Sure, it might not be optimal to be sleeping on a bare slab of wood (who would have thought???), but just imagine that you’re sleeping on a Helix GlacioTex Cooling Pillow Top, and your brain will do the rest! And remember, if there’s one thing Stuy taught you, time will never go faster than when you’re trying to sleep!

4. Replay Instagram Reels in Your Head

You heard me right! Chances are, your summer camp isn’t going to let you take your iPhone 17 Pro Max into camp. But fret not, just turn your brain INTO the phone! Approximately 50 weeks before your tenure at camp, start reviewing your activity on Instagram and utilize the Pomodoro technique to cram-memorize as many reels as you can (the more, the better). And when that fateful day comes, you’ll already have a hardwired feed of sublime slop ready to infiltrate your every thought! In my personal experience, some of the most difficult reels to memorize are clips of Young Sheldon, large swaths of Kim’s Convenience, various Clash Royale videos, and gluttonous mukbangs. Sounds cool, right? So get studying!

5. MOST IMPORTANTLY… Don’t be Homesick!

Here’s the deal. A study of 500,000 chronic doomscrollers in Los Angeles revealed that shockingly, about 98.594 percent of your thoughts come from your brain! Meaning that when you ever feel a raging desire to reappear at your house, just… stop feeling it! And when this step is used in tandem with the other four steps so gracefully provided, you’ll never even remember what your house looks like! Of course, if only it were so simple. It’s not like you can just “stop thinking” about a very personal place to you, right? But studies show a special dichotomy in a phenomenon that people who feel a certain emotion also have the capability of… feeling a different emotion. And if they can do it, then so can you!

Do these five activities at summer camp, and your time away from home will fly by (which is either really good or really bad, depending on how you look at it!) But then again, maybe you’ll have so much of a blast at your summer camp that it turns into your new home and you’ll never leave. Who knows? Anyways, you better finish packing your gargantuan luggage and start memorizing some Insta reels! Spectator writer, out!