An Exposé Into SING! Expenses
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Stuyvesant’s SING! is a unique musical event with a history of excellence, but behind that prestigious reputation lies a world of corruption. SING! whistleblowers stole documents detailing SING! 2022’s expenses, which revealed a pattern of SING! directors abusing funds for personal gain. We tried to dig up receipts from previous years but came to a dead end when an anonymous informant told us that the receipts were ritually burned at the end of every SING! season. However, we used our connections with SophFrosh SING!’s assistant Costumes director Michelle Huang (who, by the way, is super hot and funny and deserves all your money) to save a few receipts to publish.
Note: To clarify, “Toddlers” refers to SophFrosh, “Old Clowns” refers to Juniors, and “The STD Sages” refers to Seniors. The insulting nicknames describing the other grades imply that these records were curated by Senior scriptwriters, who couldn’t think of any jokes besides those insulting their competitors.
2/11/2022 Toddlers: two yards of black fabric for emo/punk rock Eros, $40
2/11/2022 Toddlers: one gallon of gasoline, $150
2/11/2022 Toddlers: five-pack of lighters, $30
2/12/2022 Toddlers: six olive trees, $90
2/12/2022 Old Clowns: one mannequin with incredibly unrealistic proportions, $80
2/12/2022 Old Clowns: three clown noses, $9
2/12/2022 Old Clowns: four yards of red fabric for swaggy ringmaster’s coat, $28
2/13/2022 The STD Sages: three gallons of cream white paint for their excellent set, $60
2/17/2022 The STD Sages: six cups of coffee, $36
2/17/2022 The STD Sages: 5,000,000,000 masquerade masks, $5
2/18/2022 Old Clowns: one Among Us poster, $69