Will Talos Strike Back To Take Down Pupilpath’s Crown for the Worst Site?

Will Talos take Pupilpath’s crown for worst tormentor after the Pupilpath crash of 2022?

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By Lillian Zou

Ever since the record for the “worst torment over Stuy students” was established by PupilPath with its legendary shutdown, many other sites have been training hard in order to snatch that record using a multitude of creative tactics. One of the strongest contenders, Stuy’s home boi Talos, gave us an exclusive interview on its take on PupilPath’s record.

“To think that a newbie like PupilPath would ever beat out a veteran like me,” said Talos, quite salty over the whole ordeal of losing its infamous status amongst Stuy students. “I have so much more diversity in how I torture kids! I have failing report cards for them to see, I make them have to deal with selecting new courses, and, best of all, I’m the one that delivers their a** schedules for them!” Talos went on to rant about how it’s surprised that it had neither a system overload from all of its tasks nor a student trying to reboot the system in order to play the Russian roulette and get a better schedule.

However, Talos warns PupilPath because Talos currently boasts a user capacity of 100 people. This capacity is still higher than that of The Spectator website (another solid contender with Talos), which boasts a user capacity of five people, including the admins who are always on the site.

Despite all this, Talos revealed that numbers aren’t everything. “It’s about the users as well,” it proclaimed. Talos speculates that another important factor in this game is to have a diverse pool of people screwing the system up. It is this theory that has prompted Talos to sign employment contracts with Bronx Science. “Ever since Bronx Science signed a contract with me for my services, I have come so much closer to a complete system crash. Great, right?”

Talos concluded that the fight has only begun. “I really need to up my game because nowadays, you can’t rely on simple, upfront torment. You have to expand if you want to win. For me, the child’s play is over,” reflected Talos. “And you better watch out, PupilPath, because I will do anything to win that title. I’ll even go as far as selling insider information if I really have to. Those kids better watch out because I’m gonna expose their failing grades, birthdays, course selections, and, to top it all off, a mugshot of their ‘beautiful’ faces.”

Talos went on to crash three times in a fit of rage and then 404’d the AP selections page.