What to do over the summer to not get into college

In high school, you’re often told that how you spend your summer break can define your college application and that it is important to make a lasting impact on your community. You could participate in a pre-college program, apply for an internship at a hospital, get a job at an animal shelter, or catch up on some of your summer homework. However, we at The Spectator vehemently disagree with that! Why would you be a contributing member of society when you could just relax and stay home? Here is a list of Spectator-endorsed ideas for how to spend your summer vacation to do as poorly as possible in your future!

1. Get an internship… but somewhere illegal! Instead of getting a boring old internship at a normal place, like a hospital or a legal firm, you should bend the rules. You could be a money mule for a scammer or a counterfeit electronics seller. The choices are limitless! That will REALLY stand out on your college application, and make universities notice you! 
2. Have a viral public breakdown on a TikTok live stream where you criticize the unfairness of the college admissions process. Make sure to mention that cheaters on standardized exams get into far fewer schools than honest people, and as a cheater yourself, you find that discriminatory. This will definitely win the approval of the admissions officers when you apply to college; they’ll appreciate your candid honesty. Who even cares about your digital footprint? 
3. Steal people’s credit cards and max them out. When you do this, you have to make sure to get caught, and you should say something really incriminating about yourself while you do it. Your mugshot picture will be seen by colleges, so make sure that you smile! It might even become your student ID photo…
4. Become an activist like Greta Thunberg, but promote more child labor in factories. It could be a fun passion project for you! You could donate spare children to underprivileged factories in need, and truly make a difference! Why would we go forward as a civilization, when we could just go backwards? Besides, children don’t need to learn anyway; they could always just use AI in the future. 
5. Reach out to several professionals showing interest in learning from them, but make it really obvious that ChatGPT wrote your outreach letter. You could even add in your prompt, “make sure to show the AI’s thought process!” Colleges will love that you take initiative and utilize the groundbreaking technology of the modern age!
6. Create a YouTube channel where you promote educational content and study tips, but only promote super unhealthy habits. You could say that becoming a mukbanger is a way to lower your cortisol levels, or that beating your face with a baseball makes you look better! Also, who really needs sleep anyway?
7. Go on an online political rant encouraging air pollution in the world. You’ll provide an unconventional and undoubtedly unique perspective on life that colleges will find innovative and fresh!
8. Start a cult and have a recorded and public book-burning ceremony. This cult can have a variety of opinions, including that humans become dogs in the afterlife and that if you read books with at least 100 pages, you should be beheaded. College admissions LOVE to see censorship in the big 2026.
9. Study for one of your “advanced” classes, but not an actual subject. Classes like AP Tennis Statistics, AP Psychosis, and AP Environmental Surgery would be perfect! It’s like unproductively being productive!
10. Actually do something useful for yourself. Let’s face it, no matter what you do, colleges will hate it! So just give up!

Look, school is tough, and life is tougher. Your summer break is the only time when you can relax and not have to worry about trivial things. So rather than waste it on doing productive things, you should relax and embrace your true self. While colleges might not appreciate it, you are doing the right thing! Don’t hide your true thoughts! Share them out to the world, and leave the world a worse place than you found it.