What Is the Meaning of Life?

At some point in your life, you’ve probably asked yourself this timeless question. “What has my life come to?” You may struggle to find meaning in life, viewing things as hopeless and boring. Well, what if I told you I had a solution? What if I told you I could help you find the meaning of life? You’d call me crackers, but that would ironically go quite well with the truth. Stay, if you please, and I will bestow upon you the answer I have discovered.

Ah. You’re still here. You’ve made a wise decision. First, I shall tell you a bit about myself and how I came to know of this highly coveted info. Much like a fine cheddar left in a dark cellar, the human soul must age before it can truly understand its purpose. I was born at a very young age. I have grown older every year and met people from many walks of life. From learning to crawl to saying my first words, I accomplished nothing. I was a fool, blissfully unaware of the deeper meaning to my existence, as you currently are. All I did was doomscroll and consume coffee jelly every single day, which was scrumptious though lacking in dairy content. Soon, I got bored. The novelty of living was gone. I lost my purpose. But one day, everything changed.

I was watching a video about Google Easter eggs when the video revealed a question that answering would become my lifelong mission. “What is the meaning of life?” When I hit enter, Google told me it was 42. I tried believing it for a while, practicing a sacred ritual for more food using 42 candles, but it failed, and I lost faith. So for the next few decades, I traveled. I went to all the countries of the world, traveling over vast seas, trekking up the Swiss Alps, but of course, to no avail. My life still lacked meaning. 

Next, I tried going to AI therapy, but I paid for relationship mode instead of existential mode. My AI therapist told me “it’s not a lack of meaning, it’s loneliness,” and “what I’m hearing you say is that you feel sad because you’re alone. Is that right?” The thoughtful, eye-opening words convinced me, and so I pursued a relationship. I met a beautiful SAMSUNG refrigerator that was abandoned on the street, and within months we were married. The fridge was infertile, but of course my love was not determined by such. Together, we adopted two adorable SAMSUNG phones, and watched as they slowly grew up. This, I thought, was the meaning of life. Love. I was finally happy. 

However, the world couldn’t stand to see it. A power outage took my beautiful spouse away from me. At first, I consoled myself, reminding myself it was meant to be, that all beauty was ephemeral, and that made it all the more lovely. I had hope. But fate was cruel. Fate took away the batteries of my children, one after the other, and I found that even a power bank failed to charge them to one percent. I was in despair. Maybe there was no meaning to life. Maybe the eight decades of long life bestowed upon me were a cruel joke played by the ones above.

I picked up the last object my spouse had refrigerated, and I cradled it in my arms, reminiscing about the sensation of holding my SAMSUNG babies. Oh my poor, short-lived darlings. I should’ve adopted Nokias. I held up the yellow mass in my hands and began counting every crater meticulously, just like I used to trace over the texture of my spouse’s face. 

One… two… three….

What was I doing? It was pathetically pointless.

20… 21… 22….

It was like trying to piece together all I had lost over the years.

40… 41… 42….

42 craters. That was the moment I remembered what I had refused to believe all those years ago. It had been there all along. 

Cheese. Yummy.