Humor

Thoughts You Have Between Classes

The bell rings to remind everyone to simultaneously stand up and walk to the next torture chamber in the cycle.

Reading Time: 2 minutes

It’s Thursday, the middle of the day, and the end isn’t near. The bell rings to remind everyone to stand up and walk to the next torture chamber in the cycle. The phone you aren’t allowed to check says there’s a flash flood warning, which reminds you that climate change is an unstoppable global phenomenon that will eventually swallow the earth. Here are some thoughts you may have as your teenage body slithers along down the hall:

- We just finished the fourth period. That’s six periods left. One of those is my lunch. So that’s only five periods. Which is five 40-minute segments, or 200 minutes. Which is 10 20-minute segments. I just have to do 20 minutes 10 times and then it’s over.

- I wonder how long I can stare blankly into my locker before I’m late to class.

- Flash flood??? I forgot my umbrella.

- All these happy freshman couples are completely unnecessary.

- I think I got a seven percent on that test.

- If I just walked out of school now, without swiping out or anything, would the security guards tackle me or…?

- Why do so many people go here? Why are so many bodies close to my body?

- I have to climb 10 flights in three minutes. Thank goodness the two-to-three is fully operational.

- What grade would I need on my next test to bring my 78 to a 97? If I carry the one, add the four, divide by nine, plug into the golden ratio… I just need a 180 on the final.

- They’re bugging if they think I’m coming back here tomorrow.

- Oh look, it’s someone I’ve spoken to a single time. Do I nod or look away or smile awkwardly? All three it is.

- I’m so hungry, tired, annoyed, confused, ugly, and just generally pessimistic about my future. It’s Thursday.

- The fact that it’s Thursday means that tomorrow is Friday, which is one day closer to Saturday. It also happens to be one day closer to Monday. Crazy how that works.

- How does that girl fit literally anything in that tiny backpack?

- I can’t wait to graduate. Or better yet, I can’t wait for retirement.