The Newest Crusade, Taking Place Right in Our Subways

In the lawless zone known as the New York City subway station, every single passenger is in a constant hustle to get to his or her own destinations. However, no matter which train, or where you go, there seems to be a few things that always stay the same. Among those include the classic train delay at the worst times and the unforgettable middle-aged man banging on the train door in agony after it closes right in front of his face. The fast-flowing river of curses and complaints that flow out afterwards may seem bad, but that’s before you even get on the train! Each individual train car is like a whole different world in itself, with its own loose screws and many dents to hammer out.

But, just like how parallel worlds have some similarities, there are some scenarios that occur each and every time as if following a list of unspoken rules. Whenever there's an argument, there's always the righteous citizen there to stop it, just like how there's always a troublemaker whenever there's a homeless man sleeping on a row of seats. However, there is another archetype that is much more common than expected. That is the modern-day Crusader, always appearing when you least expect.

As I boarded the 3 train, expecting a short, boring train ride home to Atlantic Avenue, I sat down and took out my notebook, getting a headstart on my Mandarin homework for that day. As usual, it was a tedious task of copying down characters many more times than necessary along with the usual nightmare of pinyin to write afterwards. The train wasn’t as overcrowded that day and plenty of seats were available. Despite that, a woman still remained in front of the double doors, staring down each and every passenger with the attentiveness of a hawk. Clad in a chainmail armor made of crosses, her weapons were hung around her neck and wrists in varying sizes and designs. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she had kept spares inside her boots just in case she ever needed some extra firepower for her exorcisms! Shortly after she took a deep breath, she began preaching the glory of God with the zeal befitting that of a Crusader purging some infidels. When ignored by the lady sitting directly across from her, she increased her volume, targeting her sermon at her.

“What do you think you are doing, ignoring me? You should be grateful that God is so forgiving!”

Five minutes passed. Becoming increasingly frustrated, she reached her breaking point and pulled out her trump card. With the power vested in her by God, she did the obvious thing: threaten her with eternity in a burning hell. Amazed by the vigor with which she spoke, I almost exclaimed in surprise, “Jesus Christ!”

At this point, I had already paused my music and completely forgot about my homework as I waited for the next event. For the next 10 minutes, she continued lecturing the lady, a combination of loud noises and random screeches that mixed together into the most horrible choir I had ever heard, like a symphony of dissonance. She continued to be ignored. It then seemed that their “argument” would go nowhere, so she moved on and got off the train in a hurry, eager to preach to another disbeliever.

From the moment she left the train to the moment I reached my stop, my thoughts were in a jumble as I wondered what I had just witnessed. Ever since then, I’ve met these Crusaders a few more times, though none of them measured up to this one. The next time you go on the subway, look out for the hidden Crusaders on your daily commutes. You never know when one might be right next to you!