The Cloutiest Department On The Block

Sophomore Oliver “Olly” Stewart returned home from Staples in distress on Wednesday, March 20. Not only had he been scammed into buying a $12 piece of cardboard, but he also had to make a poster for The Spectator recruitments the next day. After several hours of neglecting his editing duties and taking his anger out on fellow writers, me and myself, Oliver had a sudden revelation: get The Spectator more clout.

“It was just obvious, you know,” Stewart said. “I’m the only competent editor of Spec Humor. Our department really has nothing to offer people, so I had to do something no one else, not even Kerwin or Gaby, would do: suggest that we have a SoundCloud.”

When Stewart came into Advanced Journalism (colloquially known as Spec Class) the next day, he explained to me the poster that he created. It was a pretty subpar and disrespectful poster, as shown on the left side of the overpriced cardboard. But what redeemed all of that was the mention of a SoundCloud on the board. Ambitious and power-hungry fantasies quickly flooded my brain. Within minutes, I found myself making the Spec Humor SoundCloud account. It was at that moment that I knew it was destined for great things.

An hour after it was made, it was our turn to present our department to the freshmen trying to flex on colleges. Though we had a very elaborate skit for everyone, no one applauded, and several boos were audible. Using some quick thinking, junior Abdulla Elkhadrawy told everyone about the SoundCloud and advertised that everyone had the opportunity to create music in our department. Within seconds, there was a triumphant uproar from the audience, followed by deafening applause.

“I thought the skit was really cringy,” junior Yu Hin Yu said. “But after they explained how I could use my Chinese karaoke skills in their department, it made me reconsider my initial plans of joining A&E. I think it’s obvious which is the funniest department now.”

“To be frank, I just need something for college, so please stop this interview,” junior Leon Tan said, shortly before roasting my ramen noodle hair in math class.

With the SoundCloud gaining further popularity, we then decided to do what no one has ever done before: produce an album. However, it proved to be much harder than anticipated, and it appears that the album will be released later than originally planned.

Okay, if you’re just an impatient bum who does not care about inspirational stories of success (shame on you!), just check out our SoundCloud at humor-102597642 and buy our album when we release it. Thank you!