The Cave Journey to Freedom and Glory

If you’ve ever been in the gymnastics room, divided from the large third-floor gym by sliding metal doors, you may have noticed that there is a small corner where gymnastics equipment is stored. If you look closely, you may notice a singular loose tile on the ceiling of the gym, just large enough for a high-schooler-sized object to slip into it…

One torturous and tedious day in gym class, I was fortunate enough to migrate to the gymnastics room to practice volleyball! (Which I definitely, 100 percent, put a lot of effort into doing…!) I slowly walked into the gym, my eyes scouring for corners with foam mats to hide behind, so that I could perhaps escape the cruel fate of actually grinding for gains. I walked back and forth in a secluded corner with an expression of deep contemplation, sighing in despair of my inevitable suffering. 

Suddenly, I felt a ball forcefully whack into my head. When my 10/10 facecard recovered from an expression of pure agony and offense, my eyes followed the ball that had bounced off my head into a passageway made by a loose tile on the ceiling. I approached curiously and peered into the large gap with caution. The tile seemed to have been hit open by a kid with atrocious aim, causing it to come loose and provide me the perfect escape from school! But how would I get up there? 

Over the course of the next few classes, my friends and I strategically began devising a plan to tread into the terrifying, possibly slimy depths of the ceiling vent. 

“Okay, my dear board of elders, first order of business.” I side-eyed Will, one of my friends, who was on the verge of falling asleep. “Pay attention, this is important!” 

“Since you’re sleeping, I’ll assign you a duty first.” I turned to face Will. “Will Will willingly will our teacher’s eyes to willingly wander away so that I will not have to write my will after unwillingly walking into detention?”

“Yes, I will willingly will her to look away,” he responded. 

“Wonderful! Will will be our source of bewilderment for our teacher! Will you all assist him in his quest?”

All six (or seven) people nodded. 

“Now, shall we get to work?” I inquired.

Work included creating and teaching our very own course known as AP Ball Knowledge, which consisted of learning all the components of a ball in order to better understand our method to open up the vent. This led to many passionate discussions about the best approach.

“Okay, y’all, so, I think we should move that tile out of the way by smacking it one time with a ball every gym class,” Bartholomew the Second said. “I’m sure this method will be super effective and definitely not a waste of our time!”

Everyone nodded in agreement, basking in the glow of Bartholomew the Second’s wisdom. 

“What shall I bring on my journey into this cave?” 

“I think you should bring your phone and your phone pouch, a map of the vents (made by previous escapees), and maybe some other random things you might find useful,” Will suggested.

“Okay, bet!! How will I get up?” 

We simultaneously swished our heads in a hair-flipping motion (YESSS DIVA CLOCK THAT), and examined the equipment present. There were high bars, foam pillars, and a bucket of chalk, among weights and other gym rat things. 

“Why don’t you use the pillars to make a staircase?” 

I gasped loudly. “You’re smart!”

“Thank you, I know.”

On the last day of the fall semester, after opening the vent fully, we put the final phase of the plan into motion. We assembled the staircase, laboring like ants in autumn. 

“Woahhh!! It’s taller than me!” Bartholomew the Second exclaimed as he stood next to a pillar. 

“What isn’t?” Will smiled innocently as he stood next to the pillar, standing a half a foot taller than it. He turned back to me. “Remember to bring your map!!”

I pulled it out of my pocket, smiling. “You got it!!”

Will and his little gang acted as lookouts for the teacher. They ran over to the large gym, Will shouting some military commands like Julius Caesar, and as soon as they looked over and raised a confident thumbs up, I ran up the pillars and cave-dived into the darkness of the internal ceiling structure. 

Inside, my hand brushed against the cold sensation of metal. I looked around, or at least tried to, my eyes straining against the darkness. I felt a very creepy-crawly sensation on my arm, and so I calmly pulled out my phone from my phone pouch. I looked to see a very large spider with long legs strolling on my arm. I picked the spider up with my other hand and crushed it, smudging its dead body on the side of the vent. I crawled forward extra quickly in an effort to avoid all other spiders that were probably also in the vent with me, skipping class. I pulled out my map, orienting myself towards the outside world, and began crawling.

After a long, long time in one direction (my knees hurt as if someone had gnawed on them, spit out the pieces, then glued them back on), I saw a gaping hole formed by a tile missing on the metal surface I was crawling on. I would have to parkour over this! I peered into the hole to see a classroom of students looking like they hadn’t eaten in four months. My eyes landed on a very familiar figure sitting DIRECTLY BELOW the hole in the vent. It was my friend Penelope (name substituted for legal purposes)! I assumed she was in Latin class, judging from her dejected expression, and very interesting sentences like “omnes servos interficiam et vincam” being said (she still doesn't know how to introduce herself). She just so happened to look up directly at the hole in the ceiling where I was looking down. Penelope’s eyes widened in shock, then her eyebrows furrowed, as if to say, “WHY are you in the vent????????” I smiled innocently, then did some complicated hand gestures to communicate. “I’m escaping school. Wanna escape school with me?” I watched the invisible loading sign process in her brain as she translated my very cool gang signs. She looked up in agreement. I threw down a long rope that I just so happened to have in my phone pouch, and she lowkirkenuinely shimmied up the rope in a span of two seconds without her teacher noticing (or maybe he did but couldn’t care less). As soon as she got up, I pulled out my map like Dora the Explorer, and gestured towards the direction in the vent we were supposed to go to. She skedaddled in that direction as I followed behind closely.

After what felt like a few seconds (only because I was with her, it was actually closer to around two hours), we finally reached something that resembled an exit vent cover. Hesitantly, I opened it, and was blinded by the beautiful, bright light that flowed into the vent. I shielded my eyes. 

“PENELOPE! I SEE THE LIGHT!” I yelled, my voice echoing.

I looked over to her, and I saw that she was sobbing tears of genuine joy and happiness. “I can’t believe we made it! We did it! Together,” she replied.

“All that’s left now is for us to crawl through that door. We’re so close!” I exclaimed.

I closed my eyes as I crawled through the door in anticipation of freedom. I could feel her next to me, the cold air hitting my face. 

“Chloe,” she said, her voice trembling. Alas, she must’ve been so excited and thrilled by the prospect of freedom!

“I know, it’s amazing,” I replied. 

“No, bro, genuinely open your eyes and look.”

I opened my eyes to see the angry face of a teacher, and a full classroom of students trying their hardest not to laugh, filming our misery. My smile dropped instantly. 

“Uh oh…”