Subtle Asian Dating: William Wang

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Cuffing season may be over, but The Spectator has got you covered with a new man for the new year!😍😍

Calling all ABGs (Asian Bible Girls of course…)!! Looking for a self-proclaimed, SU-enlightened despot?

👍Pros 👍

– Will tie your shoelaces so you don’t fall for anyone else 🍂

– Good at soccer but only if the other team doesn’t know how to kick a ball ⚽

– Is a cheerleader so he can spell

– His initials are WW so you already know he doesn’t take Ls 💯

– If you fake arrest him at a MUN conference, he’ll go with it (Imagine what else he’ll go with!)

– Professional belly dancer and his hips sure don’t lie 💃

– Unlimited access to Teas’ Tea

– Owns AirPods so he can buy you all the bubble tea you want 💰💲

– 6 feet tall 🔝

👎Cons 👎

– Owns AirPods so he don’t speak broke like the rest of us

– Prone to slipping on balls (but will get right back up), so you better shoot your shot!!!! 🔫

– Vishwaa will use every resource in his power to wipe you from existence if you flirt with his lover

– Lives in Staten Island

– Went through a Soylent phase

– Loves puns so be prepared for some bad ones that’ll give you acute bouts of MELONcholy 🍈

– More committed to streaks than his sleep schedule 😴

– Might be a part of the Yakuza 😎 😤