Humor

Spectator Art Editor Application

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Name: Jarett Lee (you can call me Mr. Art Editor though)

Grade: So is a super-senior grade 13, or is it like 12.5?

What other extracurricular activities do you partake?

I’m an active member of the Stuyvesant Confessions and Stuyvesant Memes Facebook pages, where I’ve actively read, analyzed, and provided commentary to the content in the form of angery reaccs.

Anyways, I actually did direct SING! tech crew, but I had to retire from hearing loss due to my fellow director Pardeep Singh screaming at people to move out of the way.

Nowadays, I just sing Christmas carols with Mr. Mott on the subway. It’s actually really gratifying to see the awestruck (or is it dumbstruck?) faces of commuters when they realize that the best Christmas carols really are sung in March.

Can you use Photoshop, Clip Studio, Paint SAI, or other editing/drawing programs? If so, which ones?

I have no clue what any of those things are. Are those made up? Those are totally made up right? I usually use my calculator to draw my pieces so I’m not too clear on these new fancy drawing programs.

If you’re talking about that new TI-Nspire junk, I don’t dabble in that. I don’t think it’s very fair that we need to have expensive calculators to be considered artistic.

Describe an experience when you stood out as a leader.

One time I had a group presentation—we had a few weeks to do it—but I had to go to New Jersey to visit family for a day. Anyways, I was fully prepared to take the L, but my group members weren’t having it.

Thus, I took one for the team and pulled the fire alarm. We had to evacuate—I can’t believe they made us walk two blocks; I would’ve never pulled the alarm had I known. My group ended up getting a zero because my teacher saw me pull the alarm, but I’m inclined to believe that it’s the effort that counts.

Why do you want to be an art editor? What makes you qualified?

I think that I'd be a great fit for the next Editor in Chief because I’m pretty certain the current EICs are running a corrupt breeding ground for nepotism—how in the world did SophFrosh SING! lose to Junior SING!? Under my leadership, we can “Make the Spectator Great Again and Drain The Swamp.”

I’m the most qualified applicant. I know; you know; everyone knows. Don’t let the fake media fool you.

List an idea for a comic series.

Could we get some artists to work on my fanfics? What about a 20-page spread of my portraits?

List an idea for art spreads.

Jeez, do I have to think of everything for y’all? No wonder The Spectator always seems to need new editors. I don’t mean to be rude, but if my ideas are actually used, am I going to get proper credit?

Even if The Spectator is basically fake news and only prints what the Crooked Administration tells it to print, I expect to receive credit for my revolutionary ideas. If I’m not credited, it’s deadass Battery after 10th. Also, don’t touch me ‘cause my dad’s a lawyer.

What changes would you like to make to the current department policies, Spectator Art, or The Spectator in general?:

I think that the rule preventing an editor from being involved in the SU is really dumb because Laszlo was a lit editor and an even lit-er SU president, so I think he should've kept his job as both.

We should also instill a death penalty for anyone caught throwing a The Spectator onto the bridge.

Tell us any other questions or concerns:

So, when do I start?