Humor

SING!? More Like SEUNG!

Principal Seung Yu sent out an email announcing that SING! shall be renamed to SEUNG! and shares his plans for the upcoming event. Exciting!

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Cover Image
By Karen Zhang

Seung Yu <principalseungyu@stuyspec.com>

to Stuyvesant Student Body

4:10 a.m. (6 hours ago)


“This is the only real concern of the artist, to recreate out of the disorder of life that order which is art.” —James Baldwin


Happy Thursday Stuy,


Though today is traditionally known for pranking your loved ones, we must remember to show kindness during these tough times. One of my beliefs as an educator is that we all need cheerleaders to help us along our path. Therefore, I am declaring that SING! this year will be renamed to SEUNG! the Extravaganza and I will be appointing you as my personal cheerleaders to accompany me along my path toward Stuyvesant Principal Greatness.


I am grateful to be a part of the SEUNG! fervor, albeit virtually. After reading the SING! scripts from past years, I thought deeply about this year’s SING! season and how important it is for us to continue to work together to improve our theatrical skills. Improvement is challenging because it requires both discipline and diligence—things you all lack. Therefore, I will take my place as the fourth competitor at SEUNG! so you can all see what a real show looks like.


First and foremost, I am working on prioritizing my most important tasks so that I don't always feel overwhelmed, unsuccessful, or guilty. I imagine many of you feel the same way about your lamentable romantic life, mediocre essays, and everything in between. I wish there were simple answers, but I have not found them. However, I’ve found that my reflections at 4:00 a.m. have been enlightening, so I will share one of many revelations. Yu is the beginning of the name of the popular trading card game, Yu-Gi-Oh. I’m sure that you also know of the classic game “Uno.” “Uno” is spelled with three letters, just like the word “dog,” and there is no coincidence that “dog” spelled backward is “god.” I have been blessed by something divine. Perhaps it is destiny. This is why I have full faith that I will be successful in leading SEUNG!.


While SING! is typically riddled with lackluster performances, I believe that I can “revolutionize” theatrical performances here at Stuy. I certainly won’t be painting any backdrops upside-down as I have a keen enough eye to prevent making such amateur mistakes. With my expertise, you can expect nothing less than a Hollywood-quality production.


Stuyvesant is a complex and dynamic place with equally complex and dynamic people. This is why we must adapt to the large SEUNG! change. It is especially important to improve the current quality of Stuyvesant entertainment.


As I eagerly wait for the first rays of the rising sun to shine through my window so that God’s blazing hand can guide mine across the sea of good scriptwriting, I have started my own adventure. Behold!

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SCENE 1

[On the dim stage, the lone Yu rests, dressed in his high school football uniform, assuming the hunched position of a Swan Lake performer.]


LQ 1: SPOTLIGHT ON YU

[Suddenly, he lifts his head, and his forehead glistens in the spotlight.]

YU

My number one advice? The most important relationship in life is the one you have with yourself. And that’s why I’m going to tell you the story of my life!


SONG 1.1: “Story of My Life” by One Direction

DANCE CUE 1: YU FLOSSES FOR FOUR MINUTES AND SIX SECONDS.


YU

Good morning, my friends. I have awoken before the sun has risen. The birds are still sleeping. I am currently waiting for the sun to rise. My journal is within my grasp. The sun edges over the horizon. The birds must be awoken. I have my journal in hand, ready to conquer the day. And everyone else.


[He opens his journal, sits down on stage, and looks into the audience.]

There are many challenges and joys we experience on a daily basis, and times for reflection can help you parse out what is important. However, I have been thinking. Oh to be, “an echo in the forest,” an “arrow in the blue sky.” To be a pillow or table. Yeah, life goes on like this again.


[He stands up and opens his arms toward the ceiling, before sharply flinging his journal into the audience. An audience member lets out a yelp.]


YU

I’m too cool for school.


SONG 1.2: Cue 2 Cool 4 Skool (feat. DJ Friz)

DANCE CUE 2: COMMENCE VERY HIP MOVES


[The music stops suddenly. He strikes a dramatic pose. He takes a pair of glasses out of his pocket. He puts them on slowly. He pushes his glasses up his nose with his middle finger. The lenses shine a bright light.]


LQ 2: LIGHT BLUE LIGHTS

YU

[Dramatic Reading]

I sometimes wonder about the purpose of everything. Why am I your principal? Will Jungkook ever notice me? Perhaps you wonder as well. Why are you taking AP Chem? Why are you not pursuing your dream of being an artist? Why have you not reconciled with your lost friendships? Why have you not taken a moment to realize that there is more to your life than numbers on a report card? That you are you, and nothing will change that? What’s for dinner tonight? What do men want? Here are some guiding words of wisdom:

Cause I-I-I'm in the school tonight

So watch me bring the heat and set the SEUNG! alight (hey)

Photosynthesizing with a little punk and spaz

So I will light it up like dynamite, whoa oh oh


[He runs toward the front of the stage and long jumps over the orchestra pit onto the floor below. He runs toward the back of the theater and high-fives himself. He stands in the back and holds up his BTS lightstick.]

YU

Excellence is a discipline, not a performance.

Therefore, I resign from SEUNG!


LQ 3: BLACKOUT

END OF SCENE 1

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But these are just some of my thoughts. This is a work in progress, and it requires everyone to be on board, so I would appreciate it if you could provide some feedback.


Remember that if you have any questions or concerns about my well-being, I have Office Hours today.

Topic: Office Hours (4:30-4:50 a.m.)

Join Zoom Meeting

https://us02web.zoom.us/comesupportseung!theextravaganza

Meeting ID: 123 456 7890

Passcode: seungsupremacy

Have a productive and amaSEUNG! day!

Principal (and ex-Coordinator) Yu