Realistic, School-Friendly Halloween Costumes on a Monetary/Emotional Budget

Hey guys! Welcome back to my channel!! Today I’m gonna give you some school-friendly costume ideas!!! Leave a comment at spec.ae@gmail.com and let me know what you think about my ideas. Share your own!!!!

1. Tourist Dad

What you need:
-a loose-fitting shirt, especially ones with tropical patterns
-an overly expensive camera that you certainly don’t know how to use
-sunglasses
-BONUS: jorts and a bucket hat

We New Yorkers always complain about the degradation of the city thanks to tourists, but it’s about time we inhabited their mindset and saw what all the fuss is about. Put on your ill-fitting sunglasses and suddenly you’ll see the pollution of Times Square in all its glory. Snap some quick photos where your finger is covering the lens, and don’t forget, walk very, VERY slowly and make sure to block the subway entrances while panickedly referencing a paper map.

2. Patrick Bateman

What you need:
-a fashionable suit and tie
-a crisp white shirt
-a classy business card (Silian Rail font on bone), with a holder
-slicked back hair

The outfit says it all: You have two Harvard degrees, a great sense of music, and a debilitating lack of empathy that leads to murderous tendencies. How fun! If people ask who you’re dressed as, you can easily take control of the conversation by discussing the nature of Madonna’s latest album. And whenever you find yourself in an awkward situation where stabbing would be inappropriate, just loudly proclaim, “I’VE GOTTA RETURN SOME VIDEO TAPES.”

3. Bush

What you need:

-lots of leaves
-duct tape

People often underestimate the versatility of bushes and how integral they are to society. Once you don your favorite selection of leaves, make sure to decide on what kind of bush you are. Some past examples are bush baby, Jeb Bush, bush dealer, and bush(els) of wheat. That’ll teach ‘em.

4. Guy Fawkes

What you need:

-pilgrim hat
-baggy black pants under tight white stockings
-fake mustache

It’s not the fifth of November, but rebellion is always welcome. STORM THE LUNCHROOM THEY CAN’T MAKE US ALL SCAN IN AT ONCE.

5. Lydia Deetz

What you need:

-black sun hat
-black shirt/dress
-black stockings
-black shoes
-black eye shadow
-black choker
-hair gel
-white makeup to achieve that perfectly pale skin

Sharpen those bangs to perfect triangular tips and you’re on your way to becoming the best Beetlejuice character: all-star goth girl Lydia Deetz. Make Halloween the beginning of your new lifestyle as a soulless but very stylish kid with an exterior to match your cold-blooded interior. Kick that puppy, but only in your mind.

6. Paparazzi

What you need:

-the most nondescript clothing you can find
-a fancy camera

Don’t get this confused with the tourist dad costume! Being a paparazzi requires more vocal work. Just aim your camera at somebody and yell, “IT’S THEM” repeatedly until a flock of people surround said person. Few costumes invite teamwork like this one.

7. David S. Pumpkins

What you need:

-permed hair
-a black suit with pumpkin stickers all over it
-hands that are permanently in the finger gun position
-BONUS: drag your friends along in skeleton costumes

“David Pumpkins is his own thang!” Doo doo doodoodoodoodoo doo doo doo, doo doo doodoodoodoo, doo doo doo doo.