Querida Clara: Issue 15

“Querida Clara, how to be productive?”

Anonymous junior

Smite, hack, eviscerate, destroy.

Put together, that is “SHED.” Many times in life have I applied Smite, Hack, Eviscerate, and Destroy, and each time the rewards have been rich. How did I convince newspaper authorities to let me write this column? SHED. How did I “make friends” here at Stuy? SHED. How did I, and continue to, evade the police? SHED.

And though it is true that the SHED technique can be applied (with success) to many scenarios, SHED is at its most effective when used for productivity. There is no substitute for simply annihilating your work with great force. And as you go about annihilating it all, one thing to do is to make a “To Smite” list, much like a “To Do” list but with a combative element that some people find compelling. Cross things off with a firm red slash.

Other people offer a different perspective. “Take 10-minute breaks between assignments,” they say. “Repeat positive mantras while you work to motivate yourself.” And righteous advice this is. I, too, have my own positive mantra to resort to as I work. It is a two-step procedure, as follows:

You will not take ME down.

I will take YOU down.

And once you are done with it all, you will at last be at peace. You will cast off the weight. You will SHED it.