NFL Midseason Review: In Haikus

The Spectator brings you our midseason NFL reviews for each team in the most digestible format one could imagine—a haiku.

AFC East

Miami Dolphins:

Can’t beat winning teams

Every skill player has speed

Tua MVP?

Buffalo Bills: 

Battered in London

Smoked the Fins in Miami

What the hell are they?

New York Jets:

Thought they had Rodgers

Season over in four plays…

Zach Wilson’s still bad

New England Patriots:

Mac Jones needs to go

Talent-deprived team thus far

Fans miss Tom Brady

AFC West

Kansas City Chiefs:

Taylor Swift in town

Somehow lost to the Broncos

They still rule the league

LA Chargers:

Mediocrity.

Joey Bosa is in form

Fans must be actors

Las Vegas Raiders:

Davante needs help

Jimmy G is not that guy

Time for a rebuild?

Denver Broncos:

Laughingstock this year

Broncos country, let’s ride! (ish)

Russell is okay

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens:

Weirdly good thus far

Not easy for OBJ

Lamar going off

Pittsburgh Steelers:

No Big Ben this year

Canada is the problem

Minkah comes back soon

Cleveland Browns:

Deshaun robbed ‘em good

Myles Garrett on fire

Need revamped offense

Cincinnati Bengals:

Joey B in pain

Need to turn this ship around

Ja’Marr is open

AFC South

Jacksonville Jaguars:

Struggle to end drives

They picked it up overseas

Quietly rising

Houston Texans:

CJ Stroud is him

Rookies give the team some hope

Bright future ahead

Indianapolis Colts:

Richardson’s year done

Minshew is a risk-taker

Well, things could be worse

Tennessee Titans:

Levis is composed

King Henry keeps producing

Are playoffs in sight?

NFC East

Philadelphia Eagles:

Scary receivers

Maybe Super Bowl revenge?

Tough games upcoming

Dallas Cowboys:

Dak is good (for real?)

Jerry Jones is a racist

Let CeeDee Lamb cook

Washington Commanders:

They let Chase Young go

Rebuild mode is in full swing

Howell could be worse

New York Giants:

Third-best in New York

Danny Dimes is not worth it

Daboll in trouble

NFC West

San Francisco 49ers:

Spiraling downhill

Linsanity run over?

Rebound hopes remain

Seattle Seahawks:

Defense holding up

Geno can show when needed

Still need lots of work

Los Angeles Rams:

Kupp is very back

Great first year for Nacua 

Spiral continues

Arizona Cardinals:

Cards’ quarterback shifts

Win over Dallas is all

Waiting for Murray

NFC North

Chicago Bears:

Unlikely QB

Two top-five draft picks in sight?

Struggles continue

Detroit Lions:

Top team in the North

Rookies fueling the success

Goff good as ever

Green Bay Packers:

Love is in trouble 

His young receivers don't help

Future in question

Minnesota Vikings:

Kirk out for the year

Still in playoff contention?

Dobbs keeps their hopes up

NFC South

Atlanta Falcons:

Costly turnovers

QB instability

Easy schedule left

Carolina Panthers:

Number one draft pick

Can’t produce more than one win

Can only go up?

Tampa Bay Buccaneers:

Wasting potential

Solid start but falling quick

Too much for Baker

New Orleans Saints:

Carr needs to adapt

Can’t have three solid units

Receivers speeding

Thank you for reading

We really hope you liked it

Enjoy the season!