More Than a Game: How Cards Connect Generations

Family game nights are a dying beauty. For teens, board games are a symbol of the past, and the ones they have sitting in their storage closets do nothing but collect dust. I used to be like that; I would groan when my mom asked me to play cards, or barged in on me and my friends, suggesting that we play Blokus or Apples to Apples.

However, this past summer, my grandfather came to New York from India for the first time in 20 years. Not only was New York an entirely new environment for him, but because he struggles with walking, he had to spend most of his time indoors and lying down. Suddenly, the usual ways of spending time together were harder. We couldn’t explore the city freely, and our language barrier, difference in age, and lack of mutual interests made long conversations difficult to have. So, when my mother called me over one night to play cards with my grandparents for the first time, I was apprehensive. But, after a few games of me losing and sincere moments of teasing, I realized that the card games I had learned from my mom as a child had become the most powerful intergenerational tool I had to develop a deeper connection with my grandparents. Games like Sweep, which both of my grandparents grew up playing in India, created a shared space between us where passion and frequent laughter were all that mattered.

For me and my grandparents, card games became a rare common ground. There are only a few common activities the three of us share, and I’ve noticed that even the conversations created through this rare common ground can highlight generational distance. While my grandparents reminisce about the past and tell me about the food they used to cook, the markets they used to roam, and the houses they used to call home, I live in the future—worrying about studying for my next test, planning to meet up with friends, and playing sports and videogames. It can be hard for those perspectives to meet in conversation. 

This disconnect was where games became particularly powerful. I noticed this shift every night when I stopped keeping track of the time, and instead sat excitedly with my grandparents, watching their swift hands deal cards, and fell prey to clever tactics that anticipated my moves before I played them. For once, I didn’t have to worry about developing new topics of discussion or watching conversations fade into silence—the games connected us. They were a way of spending time together and focusing on the present that didn’t rely on similar stages in life, but rather the creation of new memories. 

Those games, however, do more than just keep us entertained. They work to solve a larger problem of generational disconnect and elder loneliness. 34 percent of adults aged 50-80 say they feel isolated and lonely, and only 18 percent of Gen Z say they have a strong relationship with their grandparents. Much of this 18 percent is composed of younger children, whose grandparents serve as caretakers. As children start entering their teenage years, this becomes particularly prevalent. Relationships with their elders often quickly begin to weaken as they take on more responsibilities and stress, becoming more independent both physically and socially.

Distance also plays a major role in this disconnect. 80 percent of seniors in the U.S. say living near their grandchildren is important to them, yet over half have at least one grandchild who lives more than 200 miles away, and roughly a third live more than 50 miles from their closest grandchild. Many families are spread across cities, countries, and continents, due to factors like work, education, and economic opportunities. My grandparents live in India, and because of school and my parents’ work, I usually only see them once every year or two. That means our relationship is mostly defined by brief visits and the occasional phone call. As a result, my grandparents and I are isolated from one another, which weakened our shared traditions and mutual understanding. When families are split physically, many relationships are put on pause, not usually developing much further than a “how are you,” and “what did you do today?” Even when those geographic distances are closed, the change is temporary and personal distances remain. Games help us do what separation can prevent for years: spend quality time together without awkwardness or boredom. 

When playing cards, my grandparents are mentally engaged, teaching me new strategies and anticipating moves. Meanwhile, I’m just as invested in the strategy and competition. No one feels the obligation to “entertain” the other, and participation is done out of enjoyment, even if it begins with politeness. For elders like my grandfather, mental stimulation is hard to come by in their day-to-day life. Because of the generation we live in, much of seniors’ time is spent on screens: watching shows, listening to the news, or scrolling through social media. While this does provide immediate gratification, it does little to exercise cognitive skills. Games, on the other hand, provide a plethora of mental benefits, like improved pattern recognition, memory exercise, and social interaction.

We must recognize that games are a legitimate tool for building intergenerational relationships, both within families and on the broader community level. In my neighborhood, seniors come every Tuesday afternoon to play mahjong in their community center. These game days bring people of all ages and ethnicities together, from the Chinese seniors who have been playing mahjong since childhood; to the middle aged Indian and white women like my mother and her friends, who only recently started playing the game; to the young college students who are just back for break. And their bonds stretch outside the game room too; my mom will often stop during our walks to chat with a friend from mahjong, asking her about her upcoming trips, or laughing about their game from last Tuesday.

Senior living homes should also prioritize having regular interactions with younger generations. There needs to be more activities and volunteer opportunities, like game nights and arts and crafts activities, that prioritize youth-elder relationship building. A good example of this is DOROT, a senior living home that provides high school students with a unique internship experience where they can spend time with seniors in living communities and organize activities with them. This is a great model not only for enriching students, but also helping seniors with loneliness and mental and social stimulation. Giving students volunteer hours through honor societies, structured school programs, and internship experiences can allow senior homes to bring in more incentivised youth members to expand these programs. Local organizations, NGOs, or cultural centers, have the opportunity to create a simple but scalable way to combat elder loneliness while strengthening relationships between people of different ages. 

What began as a way to pass time with my grandparents quickly became a long-term outlet to truly build a lasting relationship with them. It didn’t make our differences disappear, but it made them less important which allowed us to focus on laughter, strategy, and each other's presence. In a world where families are stretched across oceans, time zones, and borders, familial elders are often treated as an afterthought. We need to recognize the power of games as a tool for building connections between generations and lessening senior loneliness. It’s time to take out our games, clean off the dust, and invite our grandparents back to the table.