Kudos and Kudon’ts For Your Halloween Costume
Issue 4, Volume 113
Gather your pumpkin-shaped notepad and vampire-themed pen, and prepare to take notes. Halloween is flying in faster than a witch on a broom, and you need to decide on the best costume possible. Whether dressing up for Halloween is your life’s purpose or you have an “I’m too old for costumes” attitude, everyone has an opinion on what’s a good costume and what’s not. So for those looking for some kudos and kudon’ts to win the Stuyvesant Halloween Costume Contest, this is the article for you.
Anything praiseworthy must be unique, and Halloween costumes are no exceptions. No one wants to see another devil ears headband as a poor excuse for a costume. And sorry to break it to you, but the days of your mother calling your bedsheet with two holes “cute” are over. Though zombies and werewolves are classics, the concepts are overused. You’ll get nothing more than an eyeroll if you wear a Dracula costume with plastic fangs. And stop depleting the toilet paper industry for a mediocre mummy costume. The ideal costume has flair, artistry, and a distinctive flavor like that of pumpkin spice.
People want to see something they can relate with to spark a conversation. Instead of going the tried-and-true route, you should choose an eccentric character from a show or movie like Ted Lasso or the little toy soldiers from Toy Story. Whether they hate or love the character you’re dressed up as, the opinions are juicy either way.
Kudos and Kudon’ts for Costumes of People:
1. DO dress up as Andrew Tate and play his theme song everywhere. Play the character well, but try to get a crowd of endearing fans instead of an angry mob.
2. DON’T dress up as Spider-Man. Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man is the best. There’s no need for more debates.
3. DO dress up as Vladimir Putin. That costume will cause some real riots.
4. DON’T be a people pleaser. Dress up as what YOU want to be.
If you have no particular character in mind, objects and items are the way to go. Aim for something that’s hilariously comical and grabs everyone’s attention. Last year, one legendary contestant dressed as a tampon box, which got a grin out of everybody.
Kudos and Kudon’ts for Costumes of Things:
1. DO dress up as a condom. Now that’s what you call protection.
2. DON’T, and I repeat, don’t, dress up in a onesie of any sort. It’s not a real costume.
3. DO dress up as a piñata. Everyone will hit you up.
4. DON’T be afraid of embarrassment. Everyone will only slightly snicker, and it’s all in good fun.
Gather a couple of friends for group costumes! You guys can go as a medieval torturer and his victims (no one will suspect the realness of your torture). In fact, many teachers and staff at Stuyvesant dress up for the respective theme their department has chosen. Last year, part of the language department wore amazing cosplays of Harry Potter characters. There was also a group of cat maids that was creepily funny.
Kudos and Kudon’ts for Group Costumes:
1. DO dress up as Sesame Street characters… except for Elmo. He is genuinely annoying.
2. DON’T go as a group of blank-eyed nuns. That is actually terrifying.
3. DO dress up as Gru and his minions. There’s a full moon to steal on Halloween!
4. DON’T hold back! Everyone adores the Halloween spirit radiating off of a group of Teletubbies.
Though the idea of Halloween costumes is fun, many think it’s too much effort or not worth the cost of buying materials. But there’s no need to fear! This situation is where creativity comes in. If you are willing to spend time and energy, rarities within the Stuyvesant community, then create parts of your costume yourself. Spending a bit of money on a life-size tampon box, or spending some time arts-and-crafting it yourself, to earn bragging rights for one of Stuyvesant’s best costumes is definitely worth it.
Kudos and Kudon’ts for DIY Costumes:
1. DO cut out the shape of your head from a famous painting (e.g., the Mona Lisa). Put it in a frame, stick your head through the opening, and walk around like that all day.
2. DON’T superglue your fingers together so you look like you’re doing the Italian hand gesture permanently.
3. DO wrap yourself in aluminum foil. You can pass as either the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz or one those weirdos who think tin foil can protect you from aliens.
4. DON’T fear the effort. It pays off in the end, and you’ll be much more proud of your costume.
So if you are planning on wearing a costume, whether it’s in a group or with your significant other or just a solo cosplay (Moaning Myrtle would fit your everlasting loneliness), keep in mind these completely valid tips and tricks to form your ideal costume. But beware: don’t end up in an oversized medium-rare steak costume in a sea full of goblins and ogres for the sake of uniqueness.