In Defense of Dissent

It’s often said that the opposite of love isn’t hate, but apathy. Apathy signals indifference, not caring enough to put thought or effort into something. Hate, on the other hand, requires care, thought, and a formed opinion. To hate something isn’t a void response; it’s examining an idea and consciously rejecting it. In that sense, to hate or to be a ‘hater’ isn’t inherently a flaw, but a sign of autonomy. It shows that a person is willing to form nuanced opinions and express them, even when that challenges the status quo. 

The importance of autonomy becomes especially relevant in the context of modern society’s social media and trend culture. These kinds of trends have people falling into quick rabbit holes of passive following. They also create a surge in people who blindly follow cyclical fads without deciding whether their new viral clothes are actually flattering or whether they actually agree with the reel they’re liking.

But the instinct to fit in isn’t new nor accidental. In fact, traditional social psychology supports the consistency of this behavior. In Simon Asch’s infamous 1950s conformity experiments, subjects were shown a line of a certain length and asked to state which of three other lines matched it best. The subjects were unaware that all the other people in the room were hired to give blatantly wrong answers. Still, 75 percent of them agreed with the wrong consensus at least once to conform. These experiments revealed still-relevant theories about blind compliance, even when knowing better.

On a deeper level, the psychological need to fit in and work with others goes back to the innate survival instincts of humans. Collaboration and fitting in have always been tools to survive, allowing people to hunt and provide for themselves and their communities in prehistoric eras.

However, we are no longer living in prehistoric times. Now, when conformity goes unchecked, blind following can be harmful, not only because it diminishes the importance of forming personal beliefs, but also because of the ideas perpetuated through microtrends. The most apparent examples are “I’m just a girl,” “girl dinner,” or “pilates princess,” themed videos and jokes. They take traditional misogynistic views and somehow turn them into a socially acceptable joke. The lightheartedness of the supposed humor makes it hard to reject without feeling like you’re overreacting. The jokes continue, and the conformity speaks to the 75 percent that agreed within the Asch experiments, despite knowing that the collective answer was the wrong one.

This same pressure to conform not only shapes beliefs, but also how people present their preferences. This is particularly prominent in videos where creators explain, “things I find incredibly chic,” where they form lists of already accepted aesthetics, and often put general actions like “being kind” in as chic traits. These preferences aren’t actually opinions; they're just lists of widely accepted actions that don’t contribute any originality to the initial idea. As Pamela B. Rutledge, who specializes in the psychological science behind media and technology, notes, “our brains are hardwired to notice things that are weird,” and we use strategies like identity signaling to conform while flying under the radar. Identity-signaling behavior is defined as behavior motivated by the belief that an action will convey particular information about the individual. At their core, the act of making these videos is an identity-signaling behavior and, therefore, not an actual opinion, but a strategy for positive perception and an attempt at belonging to the social group that already approves these ideas.

In both of these scenarios, the absence of friction is the problem. As Dr. Todd B. Kashdan, Professor of Psychology at George Mason University and author of The Art of Insubordination: How to Dissent and Defy Effectively, says, “a lack of consensus is an inefficiency…It is easier to make decisions and complete goals when there is consensus and harmony.” However, efficiency and convenience shouldn’t be mistaken for development. We don’t grow through conformity. In the same way that mistakes allow you to grow, we must seek exposure to people who make us notice whether there are blind spots in our belief systems. Dr. Kashan says, “our ability to grow as a person is enhanced by the presence of dissent. The speed of cultural evolution is faster with the allowance of dissent.”

However, there is a crucial distinction between hate formed from thought and hate formed through negativity and resentment. If you approach everything in life with a negative mindset, it has the same meaningless effect as responding to everything blindly with positivity. The productivity of hate only comes when it's formed from logical thought and the ability to express an opinion despite its repercussions within society. 

Conformity itself is not inherently harmful. Humans are hard-wired to cooperate, and agreement can be efficient. However, progress depends on more than just convenience. The ability to critically think, react, and express, even if the idea is negative or unshared, is vital to development. To be a hater and take things with a grain of salt shows an elevated level of autonomy and self-determination. People who process things logically and independently before relying on societal consensus are necessary. In a society driven by trends and approval, the occasional hater preserves friction, individuality, and forward movement. Without that resistance, responses become apathetic, and that’s when culture stagnates.