Flying Red, Wanted Dead: How the Spotted Lanternfly is OUR Spirit Animal

If you’ve recently touched grass, you’ve probably been pestered by the spotted lanternfly. A common sight in green spaces across the city, they glide from tree to tree, often having the audacity to land on you. You try to swat, but they merely fly a few inches over and continue their harassment. Eventually, the irritation is too much, and you retreat to safety indoors, cursing their existence.

Hated by ecologists and civilians alike, lanternflies are often demonized as invasive aliens wreaking havoc on native ecosystems and, even worse, annoying the public. Since their arrival, lanternflies have allegedly been responsible for millions of dollars in damage to orchards across New York State. As a result, state officials advocate for their eradication, calling upon citizens to squish them on sight. This ideology was even endorsed by The Spectator, as per a 2022 article detailing various ways to destroy lanternflies and their eggs. Nevertheless, as a fellow Stuyvesant student, I implore you not to vilify the lanternfly as a tree-sucking nuisance, but rather to embrace it as a symbol of the Stuyvesant experience and an inspiration for our daily lives.

Originally from China, lanternflies first arrived in New York City in 2021. At the time, they were just bugs from a foreign land trying to survive. They were unaware of the cold New York winters, hungry predators, and hostile locals that would make their lives much harder. Yet they still managed to thrive, even if it came at the expense of the local economy and plant life. Similarly, you were once a nervous incoming freshman in an unfamiliar environment. No one warned you about the many academic challenges to come; you had to figure things out yourself, stressfully balancing academics and a personal life to excel. You learned to budget your time wisely, studying during every free period, practicing sports, and riding the train. You stayed up late, ignored the aching groans of a tired body, and worked hard to complete homework. Like the lanternfly, you sacrificed sleep and good health for studying, stumbled over hurdles, and eventually managed to find your place at Stuyvesant. 

Adaptability isn’t the only trait shared by Stuyvesant students and lanternflies. Beyond resilience, lanternflies also demonstrate confidence and courage in their evasive maneuvers. They do not care about what people think of them. When a person tries to murder them, they simply ignore the hater and fly away unfazed. When birds pursue them for food, lanternflies flutter gracefully through the air, even if escape is futile. When people viciously scrape their unborn young off tree trunks, lanternflies are unbothered by the threat and simply breed more. Even when faced with life-threatening danger, lanternflies demonstrate bravery and wise judgment by distancing themselves from the trouble instead of picking a fight. This is reminiscent of many great leaders, from FDR’s strong leadership during World War II to Mr. Moran’s unwavering commitment to law and order. As upstanding Stuyvesant students, we strive to grow and develop fearless confidence in our everyday lives, looking up to human role models in our community and throughout history. However, in reality, the answer has been right outside the window all this time, violating a tree with its proboscis. The lanternfly is Stuyvesant’s unofficial mascot, a true peg-legging, plant-hopping embodiment of our values.

Sadly, most have yet to draw this clear connection between human and lanternfly. Even if lanternflies aren’t harming anybody, individuals will still go out of their way to mercilessly pound them into the pavement. Likewise, life often goes above and beyond to torment Stuyvesant students. From college applications to AP season to the Met Project, the difficulties will seem endless throughout one’s Stuy career. You may be tiredly clearing a backlog of unfinished work when a whole wave of new assignments overwhelms you. You may be cramming in studying at 3:00 a.m. while writing an essay due the next day. Oftentimes, you cannot escape from the looming foot above your head, ready to stomp you into even more misery.

So whether you’re drinking from a pool of urine in Midtown, sucking the life out of a vine in Queens, laying eggs on a tree trunk in the Bronx, or evading the capture of a fat pigeon in Brooklyn, think about the parallels between the lanternfly’s life and yours. If you’re in a difficult situation, channel the bold and unbreakable spirit of the lanternfly, spread your wings, and fl–SQUISH. Oops. Better luck at Bronx Science!    

This article was sponsored by PETA. No living thing, from mosquito to flesh-eating amoeba, deserves hate. Not even the creator of CollegeBoard.