Dutch Droppings: A Guide to Unconventional Parenting

If someone told me that parents kidnap their kids and leave them in the woods to find their way home, I would ask them if they’d eaten anything strange recently. If they told me that it’s a parenting tactic with a range of benefits, I would  stop asking them if they ate anything weird and just assume that they did. However, I would be misconstruing their words. “Dropping” is a Dutch tradition meant to teach children how to handle challenges and navigate independence. The process is simple: Dutch kids, usually in their pre-teens, are taken to a remote spot in the woods and left to find their way back home on their own, sometimes in the middle of the night. This is often organized by parents, but schools in the Netherlands are also known to conduct their own droppings. Although the goal remains the same, every dropping has unique variations in terms of safety precautions. Some children may wear brightly colored vests to stand out at night and are given a cell phone in case of an emergency, or they have adults trail them to leave cryptic hints. While this might seem like an extreme way to teach resilience and self-sufficiency, many view Dutch children, overall, as possessing the best well-being in the world. Perhaps, there is no coincidence here. Parents raising children in city environments today could learn a thing or two from Dutch droppings.

In stark contrast to the independence that droppings encourage, modern American parenting styles revolve around guardians keeping children safe—stiflingly so. Children have fewer opportunities to manage their own time and step outside their comfort zones. The decline in freedom for kids is, in large part, thanks to a rise in child surveillance—often dubbed “helicopter parenting.” Adults are hyper-focused on their children’s lives. They want to have control over every aspect of their child’s day and protect them from perceived dangers. Today, there are fewer places where children can play unsupervised; fewer children walk to school alone; and children spend less time outdoors. While safety concerns make these modern changes understandable, there are concerning consequences for children growing up in this restrained manner. Constant surveillance and strict rules mean that kids have less freedom to explore and develop. Studies correlate these tighter regulations with increasing levels of anxiety and childhood depression.

Additionally, the introduction of modern technology into children’s daily lives has further eroded their independence and cut into time playing outdoors. Apps are designed to be addictive; algorithms factor in consumers’ preferences and show them images that are more likely to interest them and keep them online. Most people are susceptible to the coercions of technology. People doom-scroll or play online games despite having better things to do. Children, with their developing brains, are even more susceptible to the dopamine hits that trigger an overreliance on technology. “iPad kids” spend their free time passively consuming online content instead of engaging with the world around them. Constant surveillance and the enticement of screens mean that children miss out on vital experiences that countless older generations had when they were younger. 

The pandemic has affected some of the issues prevalent today—drops in education rates and stunted childhood development for many. Kids were stuck inside with nothing to do and often no one to spend time with. Turning to screens was the obvious method to deal with isolation, but this has led to new issues that are becoming increasingly prevalent post-pandemic. Critical thinking and creative problem-solving skills worsened, leaving kids unprepared for all manners of challenges.

I was never dropped in the forest to find my way home, but I do have vivid memories of playing on the playground after school and having my own small adventures. I approached random kids and became friends with them. Together, we made up games or played “house.” Spending time with other children in an outdoor environment like a playground is conducive to developing important skills such as cooperation, resourcefulness, and creativity. However, kids are instead spending time indoors and missing out on these outdoor opportunities. 

While I don’t suggest kidnapping kids and leaving them stranded (especially in a big city like New York), there are still countless opportunities for kids to challenge themselves in more independent environments. Programs like the National Outdoor Leadership School (NOLS) and Outward Bound are designed to foster leadership and outdoor skills. Several NOLS programs include group challenges where children set out by themselves with maps and limited supplies to navigate to a base—a very similar practice to Dutch droppings. Outward Bound is a larger organization, with over 150,000 participants each year. On many Outward Bound trips, young people have the opportunity to spend a day—sometimes more than that—on their own. They set up camp by themselves and spend the time in quiet contemplation and reflection. This is important considering how hard it can be to find time alone, especially as children often feel suffocated by their parents’ attentiveness. Kids who go on these trips explain that they felt reluctant in the beginning: living outdoors, with bugs and simple food, is uncomfortable, and leaving behind everything they know, including their phones, can be scary. However, they also experience the benefits of stepping away from society for a bit: reconnecting with life outside of screens, being around a group of friends bonded through such unusual adventures, and realizing their strength in overcoming challenges. This switch from being hesitant to spend time outside to happily engrossing oneself in nature is the goal of Dutch droppings and these similar programs.

There are other, even simpler ways to encourage independence and resilience, such as bringing children on hikes. Having a respite from the city and being outside in fresh air is beneficial for both physical and mental health. Hikes can be challenging and social, as well as surprisingly accessible. Even in NYC, there are parks less than an hour away by train with beautiful trails. Encouraging outdoor habits is vital for children, especially city kids. Urban areas like New York are often overstimulating; taking a break from the constant noise and enjoying more basic pleasures such as walking in nature can be immensely valuable for kids, allowing them to de-stress and let go of the city’s overwhelming atmosphere.

While New York City’s environment is very different from the Dutch countryside—conducting droppings isn’t possible here—there are still many ways for children to step outside of their comfort zones and dare themselves to be independent. Being challenged in unfamiliar ways, especially while overcoming fears, can help younger people get to know themselves better by learning how much they are capable of. While practices such as droppings require effort and courage, most will find that the experience is well worth it.