Death of a Senior

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Autopsy Report


A body was found under a stack of papers on December 31, 2017.

External Examination:

The body is that of a male in his young adulthood. It is suspected that the deceased is a senior at Stuyvesant High School. The body weighs 153 pounds, measuring 71 inches from crown to sole. The residual hair on scalp is black with spots missing from sides. It seems like the decedent’s hair was torn out. The skin of the body exhibits wrinkles characteristic of someone in his late 30s during a midlife crisis. Deceased’s nose is abnormally flattened. Further analysis indicates this is not due to blunt trauma but due to prolonged sleeping on a flat surface, like a textbook. Eyes could not be analyzed due to excessive swelling of eye bags.


The deceased is wearing a faux Supreme Box Logo. The printed text reads, “Stuylin’.” Blood has stained the box logo to a darker shade of red. Multiple coffee stains can be found on the deceased’s clothing. Examination of the pristine Adidas Yeezy Boost shoes reveals that the deceased most likely tried to safeguard his shoes.

Description of Injury:

The wounds are located on the left side of the chest, 14 inches below the top of the head and three inches from the side of the body. The wounds are deep cuts created by a smooth edge. The wounds measure a tenth of an inch deep. This corresponds with the length and shape of the college brochures found at the crime scene.

The deceased also exhibits bruising and broken ribs. At the crime scene, the victim was found buried beneath piles of A4 copy paper. Many of these sheets had titles like “Why I Love Your University.”


This is a fatal wound associated with excessive bleeding as a result of multiple cut wounds. It also seems that the deceased suffered from crushed ribs before death. It is likely that he was flipping through too many college brochures in a sleep-deprived state. He accidentally cut himself with the papers and was buried by his college applications, unable to call for help.