A Disgustingly Detailed Report on the Origins, Effects, and Impacts of 67

DIARRHEA. Ha ha ha! He he he! Har har har! You let out a chuckle because it’s a sensational, heart-stirring bathroom joke that hasn’t been told to elementary schoolers a million times before. But if you, in fact, didn’t laugh, didn’t even bother with a tsk of acknowledgment, and continued reading with that stone-cold expression, we question your motives for being in this particular section of the newspaper. (Yeah, you’re the weird one, not us. Live it up a little, Bethany!) So why is an irregular bowel movement objectively funny? As we witness this head-scratching phenomenon of Homo sapiens humor evolve throughout time, only one fact is completely and utterly irrefutable: it’s dumb. Inane. Imbecilic. Imprudent. There are thousands more synonyms that we could list, but to name them all here would be… well, take a lucky guess. No one on planet Earth has the power to predict what the next generation will find funny, not even on fictional Earth. Sure, Superman can fly, shoot lasers out of his eyes, and literally break the space-time continuum—but do you think he’d ever be able to predict how humans would become obsessed with Dank memes in the endless search for the Illuminati? Yeah. Didn’t think so. 

Never fear, The Spectator’s Humor Department is here! Not all superheroes wear capes. *insert dab* We’ll womansplain the latest and hottest brain-boggling phenomenon, reserved by the two consecutive integers, uniting Brainrot, math, and iPad fanatics alike…six-seven. 

Let’s give some context first. In the 2010s, humans latched onto parodying Major League Gaming (MLG) as a “meme aesthetic”; for whatever funny bone compelled them to do so, internet records show that they incorporated random motifs such as Doritos, Mountain Dew, 21, and the video game Call of Duty into their memes. The number 69 also turned into a particularly raunchy meme based on… uh… never mind. Later, during the COVID-19 pandemic, the concept of TikTok humor was formed, which is, quite frankly, too cringey and painful to explain. This is also referred to as “2020 humor,” a name that could not be more fitting. Somehow, being forced to be at home all the time had us all scouring spaceships as adorable cartoon astronaut figures, trying to murder our friends and throw them under the bus with the needlessly abbreviated yet dreaded word, “sus.” 

Halfway into this decade, however, humans’ sense of humor seems to have devolved into absolute nonsense, as if it wasn’t nonsensical enough. Studies are being conducted on the rate at which our species’ brain capabilities are deteriorating; 99.999 percent of scientists conclude that this species’ brain capabilities are decreasing exponentially. Humans are proven to find things such as mangoes, mustard, and the subject of our study, “6-7,” absolutely hilarious. The question of why requires a long and complex deep dive into human psychology.

First, the origin of the “6-7” meme must be established. It appears as though the first appearance of “6-7” was in various edits of a song called “Doot Doot (6 7)” by Skrilla, referencing National Basketball Association superstar LaMelo Ball, who stands at an impressive height of 6’7’’. Yeah, that’s it. Two numbers… put together. Mind blown emoji. It prompts many questions. Is it the way Skrilla draws out suspense for “Six Seven” over an ominous bell echo? Is it an attempt to employ irony? Is it so unfunny that it’s funny? According to our very trusty source, Google AI Overview, Skrilla became at least 16,000 smackeroos richer from his two-minute and 20-second music video, which is a message to all the content creators trying to make a living off the Internet: just find inspiration in what a baby would babble after a three-hour CocoMelon marathon! Whatever the reason is, it’s the next big thing, used in YouTube edits and leaking into everyday human life. 

The effects of this meme are incredibly prominent. A study held in “6-7” different countries shows that after the meme’s conception, the overall presence of the number “6-7” has gone up by an average of “6-7” percent. In another study, “6-7” different Stuyvesant students were interviewed to gauge their opinions. Upon being asked his opinions on “6-7”, freshman Brian Raht said, “SIX SEVEN?! WHO SAID THAT?!” before almost immediately entering a state of hysteria, laughing violently on the floor. The interviewers were unable to get a coherent response from the student, as he kept rambling about mangos and mustard. Meanwhile, senior Mann Gogh, whom we found in the library, taking refuge from the “6-7” nonsense, said, “Yeah, no, I can’t go a day without hearing someone say “6-7”. It makes me want to pull my hair out.” Just then, a large group of freshmen walked by the library entrance screaming, “SIX SEVEN!” repeatedly like a cult chant. Gogh proceeded to pull out a pillow from his backpack to scream into.

This generation seems to have extremely mixed opinions on “6-7”. Some find it hilarious, others find it frustratingly unfunny. However, one thing is for certain: “6-7” will eventually evolve into something else. Just like how 21 evolved into 69, which evolved into “6-7,” the phenomenon of “funny numbers” will forever be a staple in human humor.