Features

2024 Summer Olympics (Stuy Version)

Stuyvesant students pitch a new Olympic sport that they would place a gold medal in.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

In the aftermath of the 2024 Summer Olympics and lingering athletic spirit in the air, Stuyvesant students pitch a new Olympic sport that they would place a gold medal in. Right now, the “sport” with the most competition appears to be sleeping, but there are many other creative activities that students believe they’re the best at, from being delusional to yapping. 


“Being broke.” —Arianne Hinds, junior 


“I would place gold in sleeping—in fact I would sleep through the entire event.” —Arithra Saha, junior 


“I could place gold by saying ‘What?’ the most amount of times when someone speaks because my ears are absolutely destroyed from years of drumming.” —David Son, junior 


“Olympic lawn mowing.” —Asan Ali, junior 


“I would place gold in sleeping—I can sleep over 11 hours without waking up.” —Junling Gao, sophomore 


“I’d place gold in the number of playlists I make.” —Winnie Lin, junior 


“I would place gold in doting on younger siblings—my little brother is the cutest thing in the world.” —Phon Myat Mo, sophomore 


“Speed reading. Not out loud, but in your head. They could put a chip in your head to see when you finish reading.” —Elizabeth Kolbasko, senior 


“Mental gymnastics, aka delusion.” —Aditi Anima, junior 


“Gold medalist in procrastinating.” —Faheem Bhuiyan, junior 


"I'd win gold in typing." —Sufwan Rahman, junior 


“Scamming my way to a paycheck.” —Amanda Tan, senior 


“Getting hiccups that never go away.” —Christine Chen, senior 


“Air hockey.” —Vanessa Chen, senior 


“Go-kart racing.” —Felix Lin, senior


“Break-dancing.” —Ethan Sie, senior 


“Candy Crush.” —Joy Herman, senior


“I would place gold in not being able to fall asleep—my sleep schedule is so messed up and it can take me up to three hours.” —Tiffany Chen, junior 


“Frisbee.” —Evelyn Liu, junior 


“Spreading, aka speed reading.” —Kassandra Sinchi, junior 


“A sport I’d definitely place gold in would be extremely long nap sessions.” —Nicole Shteynberg, sophomore 


“Rewatching my favorite TV shows and movies.”—Amani Kaushal, sophomore 


“Surfing because it looks cool and riding the waves doesn’t look that hard.” —Saif Iftikhar, sophomore 


“Hula hooping. I’m really good at that.” —Yana Bijoor, sophomore  


“I’d win gold in dying laughing before being able to tell the joke.” —Abigail Yang, junior 


“Forgetting to text someone back because I read it but didn't have time to reply and meant to reply later but because it was marked as read I forgot about it.” —Kemal Cater, sophomore 


“I would be a 25 time Olympic gold medalist for Word Games from the app GamePigeon, where I construct as many words as possible from random letters in less than 2 minutes. The reason why I would be so incredible is because I currently have 2951 Word Game wins: 415 Anagram wins, 672 Word Bites wins, and my grand 1864 Word Hunt wins.” —Rebekah Abraham, junior 


“Binge-watching shows.” —Naomi Kurian, junior 


“Eating bagels for a week straight and then getting sick of them until the next bagel week.” —Jane No, junior 


“Golf.” —Sydney Wong, junior 


“I fear I am only good at yapping.” —Renae Leung, senior 


“Procrastinating because it’s baked into my blood.” —Amanda Greenberg, junior 


“Typing with eight fingers.” —Vivian Lin, sophomore 


“Eating.” —Stephanie Lam, sophomore 


“Loving cats.” —Prajusha Azeem, senior


“Buying awesome rings.” —Jareefah Alam, junior 


“I would absolutely place first in sleeping—I need my beauty sleep.” —Puja Raut, sophomore 

“Getting called out by my geometry teacher during freshman year.” —Laiba Sidu, sophomore